QUOTE(evade20 @ Jul 24 2006, 01:56 PM)

Stolen! (from Gnappster!

)
Saw the attached pic regarding a BJ for Bush on a bumper sticker this weekend.
MONEY SHOT
[attachmentid=24864]
Cruise Hot And Bothered Over Red Carpet Money Shot
LONDON, ENGLAND- Tragedy and terror struck like twin lightning bolts and when it was all over one of Hollywood's brightest stars was lucky to escape with his life. Today, a visibly shaken Tom Cruise is safely recuperating following a harrowing water squirting incident outside the Leicester Square premiere of War of the Worlds and considering legal retaliation against the Channel 4 video crew who perpetrated the aquatic attack. This was not the artificial water often used in films, either. As Cruise discovered to his horror, the liquid pumped from the long hard tube and spattering all over his million dollar face was all too real.
"In all my life I've never been so humiliated," said Cruise who also complained that the incident knocked him out of his state of "clear" for several hours afterward. "The very idea of liquid squirting in my face is completely foreign to me. It was warm, too, and salty like water from the ocean."
The legal threat comes as something of a surprise to the show's producers who sensed no ill will from the star following the dousing.
"At the time he graciously played along with our lame little jape," said Eric Shawn. "In fact, he seemed to like it a lot more than we anticipated. He was rubbing the milky grey water on his belly and shouting 'woot! daddy hunt!' before his publicist leaned over and reminded him that he was on camera."
The Channel 4 pranksters explained that they would have opted for something less messy like handing him something to sign covered with profanity but changed plans after learning that the acclaimed Scientologist cannot read.
This is by no means the actor's first encounter with this sort of harassment. Cruise sued a young man last year after an incident in a West Hollywood public restroom during which Cruise claims the man attempted to have oral sex with him just because the actor handed him a pair of twenties.
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Some have criticized the actor for being a soil sport, but as his people have explained the suit is an attempt to clear the air and prevent the unfortunate incident from defining him in the public's mind.
"We want the mention of Tom's name to evoke images of bold masculinity rather than some stranger pumping several ounces of liquid in your face- from a water pistol", said Cruise's spokeswoman on Tuesday. "To reiterate, Mr. Cruise is all about action. Action and manly outdoor activities and having missionary-style sex with Katie Holmes."
Immediately after hitting the net earlier this week, the video soon became most-downloaded clip on the Internet, and sources say an extended version will be available on a special edition DVD within a few weeks. After all is said and done, it could be that Cruise is really suing in order to secure a decent share of the residuals.
Sensing a dip in his real-time popularity numbers, Cruise agreed to meet with his attackers and see if some agreement or settlement could be reached. As the injured party, the actor naturally set the terms: behind the dumpster outside the Piccadilly bath house, wear something tight and black, not too needy.
"We just wanted to apologize for the whole thing," said Shawn when Cruise arrived at the meeting spot. "It was all in good fun, a gag."
"Gagging?" replied Cruise. "Oh, that's no problem. You just need to open your throat more in the back."
"Um, what did you say?"
"Nothing," blurted Cruise, backing away. "I said nothing."
--Klem Johansen