how many beers (or libations of your choice) would it take u to nail Oprah?

Well, she's worth close to a billion dollars. After paying for the bag, that leaves $999,999,999.50. Knock off a couple hundred so she can take the bus back to Chicago and that should about cover it.

money aside tho, say she was hitting on you at the club and you weren't going to get a cent out of the deal, just how inebriated would you need to be to tap that ass?

That's a tough one. I'd obviously have to be too drunk to see. Maybe two beers and a gallon of paint thinner.

Why Gnappy, I do beleive you have the hots for Oprah. Maybe YOU can be one of her Favorite Things.

yeah i'm thinking a bottle of jager, couple dozen beer and some industrial grade horse tranquilizers












oh wait, i just described my weekend

Think I could talk her into posing for the ratings page of RMM is I offered her a Tootsie Roll?

Well she probably couldn't resist my boyish good looks or timeless charm

She's considered a "Hometown Hero" in Chicago. Last time I was there I saw a flag with her ass on it waving from above City Hall. Jrock probably drives by it everyday.

Hasn't she been engaged to the same guy for like twenty years? You'd think with a billion dollars he'd be a little more enthused to take a trip to the alter. What's he know that we don't?

no time for oprah... I need to get tivo!

And Oprah has no time for you.

closeup, bite your tongue... EVERYONE has time for hott... ESPECIALLY on her birthday

sounds like antibiotics wouldn't hurt either!

How do you tell a girl that you gag when she opens up the vagina

doesn't the gagging sound give it away?

You're assuming she's awake.

or alive

umm, yeah... as incredible as it could be, i think that might've actually crossed the line, lol

And that's saying quite a bit. First CMans boobs then this.

If I had Oprahs' cash, I'd buy two of Hott. I'd keep one in reserve after the first wore out. It would be sort of like the way you would buy an extra battery for your cordless drill, when one runs down, you'd have a fresh one. Hope you enjoyed your birthday sweety.

umm, have you seen her body closeup? i think she'd wear any guy out and barely break a sweat...

i don't know this for certain, mind you... but i'm willing to be proved wrong hott

I have no doubt she has the stanima of a trained athlete, but I know I could make her break a sweat (When I tell her to run to the store after to buy a sixpack) Speaking of fakers, how do we know for sure that Hott isn't twins? Now there's a thought that will keep me up at night.

Hey hey hey...leave me out of the faker deal. And as far as stamina goes...i've been known to get on top and do the work! I like it that way...

mornin' boys!

I no longer think.....I KNOW I LOVE you!!!!

(cheesy alert)
hott u must break into a big sweat, cus u've been running through my mind ahell of alot.

If there was a picture that went with this caption and I missed it, it's not going to be a good morning at all.

no picture closeup...you didn't miss a thing.

thats wrong on so many levels if any pussy smells like that what does their face look like

I just knew that the video ipods would make an appearance on Oprah's Favorite Things. And it was cool that everyone in the audience was involved with hurricane relief. I knew I should have volunteered!

Maybe next year, the audience will be full of people who frequent messageboards.

It couldn't have been much of a surprise if she did the same thing last year. Those people must have known Oprah was going to be giving them stuff.

That's what makes it so great. It's always a surprise! Last year, a bunch of teachers were in the audience and they were all told that it was a show about teacher apprecation. This year, they all thought that they were going to tell their stories from volunteering in the hurricane battered gulf region. The look on their faces when she tells them it's really a "Favorite Things" show is priceless.

You've got to be yanking our crank with this Oprah stuff. How'd you know it was a "Favorite Things" show before it was even on and the people there in the audience didn't. Maybe she should put twenty years of "Favorite Things" shows all together on one DVD and give one to each family that was affected by the hurricane. I'd like to see the look on THEIR faces when they receive it.

Um, it wasn't live. Who knows when they taped it. It could have been weeks ago.

It seems a shame that we are talking about Oprah on a board dedicated to breasts, Shoot the Breeze or not.












btw, Did anyone see Dr. Phil today?

Or, since everyone was a hurricane rescue worker, it was AFTER the hurricane. Just a thought. Hey dude, I'm not trying to bust your balls over Oprah, if you like watching her, more power to you. It just seemed you were getting a little moist over the "Favorite Things" show, that's all. I might tune in myself someday if I hear they're gonna shoot her out of a cannon or send her over Niagara Falls in a barrel. You know, something entertaining.

Meh, it's a guilty pleasure to be sure. Not watching Oprah but that particular one each year. Ain't ashamed to admit it either. Now Tony Danza on the other hand, that's something I'd never let anyone know I watch...