If you were putting an ad into an adult magazine looking for an intimate evening and you were wanting to attract your perfect sexual partner, how would you write it?

The stipulation is there is limited space and only room for 50 words or less.



I will start


Funny Guys seeks Funny Girl who won't laugh at his penis size when it dissapears into her giant titties. Must like it a little rough and be able to slap me and twist my nipples off if she wants. Any body types welcome. Tits Bigger the Better.

Next

Awesome idea Cman!!!

Seeking a grown-up, funny man, body type unimportant, preference given to bigger guys with broad shoulders, strong, nimble fingers and generous sexual attitudes...you'll receive a well-endowed, voluptuous woman who knows the importance of good bj and every pleasure of the flesh you can dream up. Please, no donkey dicks.

Wow!!!!

Younger man seeks older woman to use me and abuse me. Please be rough and make me worship you. Treat me like a piece of meat and make me beg for more. I want to be your boy toy, and you can be my hardcore hottie.

Highly sexual & sexy, attractive woman with great breasts seeks a man's man with incredible stamina. All respondants MUST enjoy giving as well as receiving oral favors, like spontanious, outdoor, and even public sex. Must apply with weapon full loaded (size does count here, for visual stimulation, if nothing else).

So where can I fill out the application?

System Administrator

Okay so you left out your address and phone number ??? So No Donkeys , Is a Horse cock okay ?

I wanna have sex today! I just passed the driver license exam and I'm so happy =)
you must be able to host. I got condoms I do consider looking good and I got pictures if you have too!
as soon as possible! and NO gays PLEASE!

Here's another....

You were the tall brunette who farted in the produce section tonight, Davie St. Safeway. I was the tall dirty blonde guy beside you who said "was that you?". You said "no...wasn't me!!". I called you a liar. You continued to plead innocence despite the stink. I fanned the stink away with a head of Romaine lettuce and you stormed off.

Even though you fart like a Clydesdale I'd still like to meet for coffee....you are gorgeous if not rude.

3d probably has already used that line with one of his Heifers!

And hey it worked !!!

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....

Please scroll down.
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Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society .

I take it you where #1

Or how else would you know ? LOL

hahaha!!! post it on craigslist, i'll answer it!



omg....that was fuckin gold!




awww....adorable!

Open Minded Guy seeks Open Minded Girl for friendship/sexual relationship. Me = Funny (sometimes), horny (most of the time), smart (on occasion). You = willing. (I did say I'm open minded).

You jsut want me baby And I'm waiting for you too

Seeking double amputee with heroin addiciton for some freaky deaky. Must have slurred speech and a trust fund. Send home video reciting the Magna Carta while fingering yourself. Serious inquiries only. No wierdos.

[FONT=Geneva][SIZE=7]

Well endowed outdoor man seeking well endowed outdoor woman who loves camping, hiking, sex in the woods, spontanity, and my tender style of loving you. Must have bassboat and motor. Please send pictures of boat and motor....

Attentive male seeking fun loving female with healthy sexual appetite. Breast size unimportant, smaller preferred. Willing to do what’s necessary to pleasure you. Please me and I’ll treat you like a lady. Experience a plus.

Successful male looking for females that want to experience a lifestyle of the rich and famous , a sex life compared to a porn movie . My interest include but not limited to , the outdoors , breasts big and small , fast cars , sex , Atv riding , role play , 3somes , 4somes , orgies , multiple orgasm's, and especially the tender touch of a lady after a long night of sex . I love waking up to lady after weve made love for hours (okay minutes ) and enjoying the afterglow of orgasm..If interested please Pm me .

I'm 28, BBV. I'fe-a geefee up gueeng thruoogh prumeeses ooff a releshunsheep und feending myselff doomped effter oone-a oor meybe-a three-a neeghts iff I'm loocky.
Bork Bork Bork!

Su I'fe-a deceeded I'll coot tu zee chese-a und hefe-a cheeldree suns zee hessles ooff feeeled releshunsheeps beffure-a my cheeld beereeng yeers ere-a up. Yuoo cun chuuse-a tu be-a infulfed oor I dun't ifee hefe-a tu knoo yuoor neme-a. I'fe-a beee tuld by a foo ooff zee gooys I'fe-a beee veet thet I'fe-a beee zee best zeey'fe-a ifer hed su yuoo shuoold eejuy it reelly vell. Iff thees interests yuoo, i-meeel me-a veet yuoor peec und I'll retoorn zee fefuoor. Zeen cume-a foock me-a und feed my poossy veet yuoor leeffe-a geefing seed.
Bork Bork Bork!



Translation:

I'm 28, BBW. I've given up going through promises of a relationship and finding myself dumped after one or maybe three nights if I'm lucky.

So I've decided I'll cut to the chase and have children sans the hassles of failed relationships before my child bearing years are up. You can choose to be involved or I don't even have to know your name. I've been told by a few of the guys I've been with that I've been the best they've ever had so you should enjoy it really well. If this interests you, e-mail me with your pic and I'll return the favour. Then come fuck me and feed my pussy with your life giving seed.


Laughed my ass off!

I'm perfect for this ad. Will you send me an application or do I just fill it out at the Border???

I'm a grown-up, funny man, with broad shoulders and a big heart, I have strong, nimble fingers and a generous sexual attitudes. I am looking for a well-endowed, voluptuous woman who knows the importance of a good bj and every pleasure of the flesh you can dream up.

hehe, box number?

Let me see your box ( ) and I'll give u some kind of number.