I have had this discussion with a select few of my friends, and am always surprised by the answers I am given. Maybe it is because I am the hopeless romantic type, and believe there is a storybook romance out there for me someplace. Anyways, this is not a personals add, so I will continue.

Ok, lets set the stage. You are newly married, and madly in love. Things are going wonderfly, and you are planning on conceiving a child within the next year with any luck. Tragically, your mate is in a horrible accident, and as a result is paralyzed from the neck down. Do you stay together?

My answer to this question is yes. The love you have is still there. It is still the same person. However, the guy I was talking to this about said no. He said that he would not LET me stay with him because he would want a better life for me. He also said that if it were the other way around and I was the injured one, he would leave me.

Like I said, maybe it is because I am the hopeless romantic type, but when you get married the vows still say "for better or for worse". I took them seriously the first time (too bad he didn't) and I will take them just as seriously should "I do" ever come out of my mouth again.

What are your views on this?

My god .. thats a tough one... being a guy and I was paralyzed .. i would love her enough to let her go ... what could I be to my wife but a life long burden.... I couldnt work, I couldnt fuck but mebbe oral .. and i couldnt enjoy it really because my cock wouldnt work... how sexy is a guy eating you out with a catheder and a colostomy bag... I mean jesus


the male ego still exists even in the kindest of men... and my ego as small as it is would be crushed if i got fucked up like that. I wouldnt put the woman I love through that type of bullshit until I died an early death and there she is having wasted her life taking care of me..... I would still love her even if she was with another man and able to have normal sex and a normal life and have kids ..... she would know that I still loved her and I wouldnt blame her for wanting to leave...

fuck me now im depressed ... I need some tits to cheer me up please ...

so your real question is: are vows...vows. simply put yes they are, but we all place different emphasis on what we vow to do. a vow or oath to me is extremely different to someone else.

i'm very confident that i would remain married in your situation, but there is no way to truely tell and thank God i'm not in a situation like that (hopefully never will be).

Ye Gods!!! Talk about doom and gloom....I use this site for a bit of cheer at the end of the day and what do I find....Aaaaargh!!

Sorry girlie....I consider myself a romantic, but I tend to stick with hoping for flowers and chocs rather than thinking about life as or with a quadraplegic!!

I also consider myself a romantic, and my other half often calls me a sap...

The situation you have given us is indeed interesting, and after reading other replies I have thought about it in depth, and this is my answer to you:

I don't know. It is all well and good to think I have good intentions, and I am getting married in 16 days time, If my better half was in an accident I would stick by her thru thick and thin. But the situation might be different if it actually arose. I know that if the situation was reversed and it was me left a mere shadow of my former self, I would speak to the doctor about ending my life - so that it forced my better half to live her life. It would give her closure so that she could feel free to move on. And I would do that because I love her so much I would die for her.

This is one of those situations you (well, I at least) can't accurately predict. That said, here's a few thoughts on the matter....

If I was the one in the accident, I would leave it to my partner to choose. If she wanted to stay, I wouldn't force her not to. But if she wanted to go, I'd let her. Something like that isn't to be decided by the cripple - some people just don't want (and can't handle) the responsibility of caring for someone quite so much, and to force it upon them would destroy their life, for lack of a better term.

If I was the carer, though, I would stand by her without a second thought. Naturally, it would mean a huge adjustment to my life, and a lot extra will to cope with not only the new situation, but also my existing ailments. But, sometimes there are just sacrifices that have to be made for the one you care about, and if that means the loss of some of my freedom, than so be it.

In the end, though, it has to be a case-by-case thing. I wouldn't want to predetermine my reaction to this kind of thing, especially given the massive number of variables involved.

-Jon

jesus, tough question my initial reaction was of course i would yes, but after reading some of the other replies im not so sure.

I'm reasonabily sure that if she was the one in the accident I would stick by her, even if she didnt want me too i would try and worm my way back in. At least for a while if we couldnt get it to work and were both unhappy then theres no point sticking it out for either one of us.

If it were reversed it would be upto her, if she wanted to leave straight out id let her if she wanted to stay id let her. Same again though if after a year or whatever neither or us were happy with the situation then id have to be thinking about calling it a day.

I think we all would like to believe that we would be ready to stay and take care of our loved one regardless.....but unless faced with the situation - I HOPE NO ONE here is eve in the predicament - we will just never know.

The difficulty with Girlie's scenario is the desire to stay with your wife/husband but their desire for you to move on. I think like C-Man a bit and feel the guy wouldnt want his wife wasting her life with him. But I think the woman wouldnt be so quick to let go.

I dunno.....I just am thankful I never have to worry about it.....**knock wood**

I would most definately stop with my husband no matter what happened I love him and always will, its not about being in a 'honeymoon' period, I would lay my life down for him if you love someone you would do anything for them thats what real love is about

I would probably stay wife my wife, and I think she would stay with me, but I think I would tell her to go marry someone who could prvide better than I could.

But would it be out of the question to get a little tail on the side. I mean, not to sound crude, but that would probably be pretty tough not being able to have sex anymore.

Ouch! Hey, knock on your own wood! ...

That is so weird! I was just asking my boyfriend that the other day!!! He was like joking with me and would not give me a straight answer. I was like... I would for sure stay with you and hug you and take care of you and make you feel better! He was like... I wouldnt want you to, But If you love someone unconditionally than regardless of their physical condition are you going to stick by them. I know I would not even give it a second thought on leaving and am kind of puzzled by the people that would even consider it!!

I would stay. I love my boyfriend too much. The only thing that would make me go, is if he wasnt the same person. NO matter if he can walk or not if he's the same person, I would love him just as much.

It would be a tough life, though. But when things like that happen, the person who was injured needs their loved ones for support and to heal mentally. What kind of person would I be if I left him to battle this by himself!

AMEN!!!

I said I would let her go because i wouldnt be around.... I told my younger brother if i ever got fucked up like that to kill me... find a way and end my life. Don't let me live like a god damn slab of breathing meat like that.
Im sure my wife ( EDIT: IF i was married i mean )would love me.. but it would be ok for her to put me in the back burner of her mind and find someone else after I was gone. I would expect her to.

It is cool to see the girls here are loyal to their men. I'm a romantic as well and that makes me smile to see that the very sexy and very beautiful girls of RMM also have beautiful hearts as well. Your men are extremely lucky to have you

cman took the words right out of my mouth- I wouldn't stay here in that condition.With the situation turned around, I'd like to think I'd stick around,but I hope I'm not put to the test.

Like comedy says love them enough to let them go.. if they stay after that then thats wonderful.. but not letting the other person go is like having that person be in the accident with you.. its now 2 wasted lives instead of one.