After talking with a co-worker today, I got to thinking; I gotta post this.

One night on the way home from a bit too much to drink, he saw a shopping trolley, and thought - I gotta do this.

So without any further hesitating, apart from the effort of trying, he placed the trolley over a street sign. Now I dont know what the street signs are like over in the US, but over here they are like seven or eight foot high.

I thought that was a top notch effort - and I wanna know this: WHAT'S YOUR BEST?

Sadly, I have nothing to add from personal experience... never really been drunk - tipsy, perhaps, but little more.

I can, however, add this little gem to the mix. There's quite a few pages, but the first one is kind-of a "best of" section - some absolute gold in there, though

Appologies to JF and CMan if the link is bad form, but it's too good not to share.

-Jon

*edit* That a mean feat with the trolley (or cart, depending on your locale), though. They're not exactly light, and hoiking it up so high would've been something to see first hand. *end*

Yep... just for the record, they weigh around 50 kg, or more. Converted, it's around 110 pounds. I have lifted many during my days working in the supermarket, many over my head, but never 7 or 8 feet

I would say that my proudest moment under the influence was this past summer. My wife's parents have an in the ground pool, and everyone was swimming. Well, after a lot of beer and Makers Mark, I though it would be funny to do a cannon ball and get everyone that was sitting around the pool wet. Now I am a large man I am 6'-6" and weigh in at 285, I ran and jumped as high as I could and did the perfect cannon ball into 4 foot of water. I busted my tail bone, and couldn't sit down with out pain for a long time. Still today, my wife gets pissed when someone talks about it.

geeze, there are too many to pick from...here's one for starters. Me n a few buddies were out camping and were completely blitzed by about 11 am. So my one friend is laying in the sun getting a tan. And i tell him i should write something cool on his back with sunscreen. He suggests STUD or something else to amplify his machismio. In his drunken stupor, he foolishly trusted me, and in my drunken stupor I decided that FAG in big letters with an arrow pointed to his ass would be perfect. Needless to say, it took him a while to find out what I had written, and finally saw it when he noticed his reflection in a car window. Ahhh, good times.


btw ratt, is a trolley like a shopping cart?

Not sure about 'proudest' moments (that I can recall or am prepared to repeat!) but I'm fairly confident that there are one or two guys with whom I've had 'moments' whilst inebriated!

(Not sure what a cart looks like - a shopping trolley is like a wire mesh pram on 4 castors, at least one of which will always stick or squeak, and you can never get them to steer straight!)

Yes... Aussie terminology...

I sometimes forget all you people are in Yankee land...

Yes, and it weighs a fair bit... Let me rephrase...

When you go to a supermarket to do your grocery shopping... those trolleys/carts/grocery holders on wheels etc. etc.

All I can say to this is OUCH.

Ahhh, my proudest moment as a drunk would have to be when I attended my first party as Ratt's g/f. We had been dating for about 4 weeks. I was to spend the night at his place, after the party. I did 12 straight up shots of scotch in 45 minutes, as well as having 1 beer and a mudslide. I hadn't eaten anything that day so I was plastered after about 8 shots, but poor Ratt still gave me the scotch.
Needless to say, he didn't get any that night.
On the way home, however, he stopped in at KFC where he bought "Food poisoned" Popcorn Chicken.
The poor bugger had to strip me before putting me to bed. I woke up the next morning without a hangover and he woke up with violent food poisoning and a trip to the ER

I have so many proud moments, it's hard to judge which is the most flattering to tell.
I will say this: one night at a new year's eve party at a friend's lake house, I thought it would be a good idea to run to my car to get more liquor. It was dark and I had to run along the shore to get to my car. I began trotting at a brisk pace, tripped on a log and fell flat on my face. I quickly regained my footing and realized that the neighbors were getting a good chuckle out of my drunken misfortune.
Other stories include: getting lost at Mardi Gras, talking to a high school teacher after several tall boys and bathroom floor make-out sessions...

I had too many last night, and when Tygalili woke me up this morning after only one hour of sleep, I found that balance was not on my list of things I could do. She told me to get the bug spray and kill a 1" mossie, and I nearly fell over... actually about 15 times before I finally said fuck this and went back to bed.

and canuckland

My most humble apologies to the Honourable Member Gnappster. And to that end, all manner of members OUTSIDE of the USA. I know that the vast majority of the membership resides in the USA, and that was my sole motivation for my comment:

"I sometimes forget all you people are in Yankee land..."

My apologies, I will try not to generalise like that again.

yeah, you better apologize... otherwise gnapp is going to stick a mountie on you

And we all know that they always get their man...

Does that go for all Canadians? Or jut the men Gnapp?

when i first read that I thought it said, stick a mountie IN you.
totally changes the meaning lol

hey, i don't know what you're into up there... i understand it gets cold in the winter and all... but just close the door and it's none of my business

mum's the word

*ding ding ding*

there we have it ladies and gentlemen... the KING of random photos

I remember one time I was helping a friend with his show, doing go-fer work mostly. Well I was asked to go retrieve something from the ticket booth at the bottom of a long gravel road. I stumbled my way down there to find two very board ladies working the 'door'. I don't remember the conversation leading to it, but I convinced them to take the tickets topless After hanging out a bit, I had to return up top. In my drunken exitement I didn't make it more than 50 feet when *woosh* out from under me come my feet, my hands and knees find the gravel. The 1/5 of tequila smashed and splashed leaving a bloody hand behind. So I proceed up to the show and visit the vending booth, pick glass out of my hand and clean it with bottled water then wrap it up in cloth and continue my work. While the broken bottle was a stupid moment, I felt quite accomplished with the change in employee uniforms and my ability to preform first aid in the middle of the woods while drunk.

I am the queen of the Drunk Dial. And that's all I'm gonna say.

I used to be princess of drunk dialing!! I had to delete a certain someone's number from my cell.

Oh my Jebus where to begin... umm getting drunk with two cute stewardesses in teh back of a plan on a flight from OK back to Texas.. they never did serve anyone on teh plane.. we were smashed from doing shots by the time the plane landed..

umm yea there was this pool party i threw when i was 18 .. and somehow it became a naked drunken wild party.. i don't remember what all happen and thats probably for the best....

Hrmm most classic though.. was going to a party and backing up the claim i could out drink anyone.... finally put down the biggest guy there... at 55 beers, 9 Flaming Dr. Peppers, 3 shots of everclear and 2 shots of 151.... yea my gf was sober at the time and poured me all that.. and the beers were counted up during the initial contest.. anywho .. about 2 hours later im fucked off my ass.. incoherent.. last thing they said i did was ran into the middle of room and ran in and dove across the floor *thank god wood floors* slid about 5 feet adn passed out.. they carried me to the only bathroom stripped me buck as naked and threw me in teh shower... well thers probably 200 people at the party so people walked in and out for the next 2 hours looking at me naked.. slumped over well probably another 2 hours goes by and everyone who put me in there forgot about me... well aparently i had started puking in teh tub which stopped up the drain and the tub filled up with cold water and puke.. by the time a lesbian came in and found me..*a cute one at that... had talked to her when i had been sober*... but she pulled me out the tub.. took me to a bedroom put me in a bed and got under and laid with me because pretty much i was in frozen shock...

good thing she was lesbian.. talk about shrinkage!!

All things considered, I think it all worked out quite well.

holy shit! that's nuts
I once drank 30 beer and a couple shots of Everclear and I thought I was The Invisible Woman.

yea i can throw down on some liqour... i had to stop drinking crown because i could sit and drink a 1.75 liter bottle by myself in a sitting.. (thats the 50$ large bottle) and started to drink 1 on friday nite and one on saturday nite and still be fucked up all of sunday .. I felt it was time to stop when on new years 2 years ago i proceded to get buck naked at our new years party of about 100 people.. most who i didn't know... and walked up the street 3 houses infront of a "person of authority"s house and proceded to shake my dick side to side screaming "LOOK FUCKER IM STREAKING" ... Hind Sight that could have gone really really bad!