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> Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?

foxy lady
post Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM
Post #1


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From: St. Catherines - Niagara, Ontario
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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle,
Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At
the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've
been such a good man and your motorcycles have
changed the world, your reward is, you can hang
out with anyone you want to in heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then
said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and
introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so
you were the one who invented the
Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...."
God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in
inventing something that's pretty unstable,
makes noise and pollution and can't run without
a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally
spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, " Ah, yes."
"Well ," said Arthur, "professional to
professional, you have some major design flaws
in your invention:


1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion



2. It chatters constantly at high speeds


3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much


4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust


5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!


"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,"
replied God, "hold on."

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed
in a few words and waited for the results. The
computer printed out a slip of paper and God
read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is
flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to
these numbers, more men are riding my invention
than yours.


--------------------
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Posts in this topic
foxy lady   Jokes   Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM
penman   Barack Obama has created history. He...   Nov 7 2008, 06:19 PM
rdmoscow1808   hehehehehe :2thumbsup: :2thumbsup: :2thumbsup:   Nov 7 2008, 10:58 PM
atlanta6   How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblowe...   Dec 4 2008, 10:20 PM
bigpapa0   Cinderella Story After a fulfilling life with th...   Dec 5 2008, 09:55 AM
yomankan   A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a Blonde i...   Dec 27 2008, 01:58 PM
UncleBuck   A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent ba...   Jan 25 2009, 03:39 PM
evade20   LOL   Jan 25 2009, 03:59 PM
ddd35   :cheers:   Jan 27 2009, 10:40 AM
rdmoscow1808   One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knoc...   Apr 16 2009, 03:54 PM
Darkone72   LOL that was a good one   Apr 16 2009, 04:12 PM
UncleBuck   My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was ...   May 20 2009, 12:58 PM
Darkone72   Ok here is one but I dont know if its been said al...   May 20 2009, 05:15 PM
UncleBuck   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9fFOelpE_8...playe...   Jun 28 2009, 12:41 PM
UncleBuck   Woman's Poem VS Man's Poem WOMAN’S POE...   Jun 30 2009, 12:59 AM
misschickie   omg, is that true???? lmao. seriously, that do...   Jul 3 2009, 11:25 AM
belicked6924   :roflmao: It's so funny cause it's mostly ...   Jul 4 2009, 05:59 PM
UncleBuck   The genie and the broken window A husband takes h...   Jul 28 2009, 05:08 PM
theinfamousjax   UNCLEBUCK isnt that a great joke   Aug 6 2009, 11:20 PM
valoish   Do you know who makes the rules? As sportsmen, i...   Aug 7 2009, 08:07 PM
evade20   :lol: Some where there is (or was) a pic of Ho...   Aug 8 2009, 11:28 PM
ddd35   That is so true !! :2thumbsup:   Aug 16 2009, 02:46 PM
FoxyLady   A bumper sticker: I used to be fucking stupid...t...   Sep 15 2009, 08:57 AM
FoxyLady   One day a young man and woman were in their bedroo...   Sep 15 2009, 09:02 AM
misschickie   LOLZ! both winners, foxy!   Sep 15 2009, 12:02 PM
UncleBuck   [b]A new neighbor[/size]… A young man moved fr...   Jan 30 2010, 04:57 PM
ddd35   :roflmao: :thumbup:   Jan 30 2010, 07:25 PM
evade20   :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:   Jan 30 2010, 08:37 PM
UncleBuck   A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand ...   Mar 14 2010, 12:46 PM
evade20   :roflmao:   Mar 14 2010, 02:16 PM
boobiechaser   A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hir...   Jun 20 2010, 06:32 AM
evade20   Your eighth post... Welcome to RMM...now read...   Jun 20 2010, 01:53 PM
UncleBuck   A friend of mine just started his own business, ma...   Aug 21 2010, 11:14 AM
ddd35   :roflmao:   Aug 21 2010, 11:18 AM
evade20   :lol:   Aug 21 2010, 01:14 PM
Brimstonezv   Daughter needs to borrow the family car so she...   Sep 3 2010, 05:43 PM
evade20   :puke: :puke:   Sep 3 2010, 09:50 PM
busty_mommy28   thats nasty! and as old as the joke about how...   Sep 3 2010, 10:51 PM
evade20   :lol: :lol:   Sep 4 2010, 05:57 AM
mtnguy75   LMFAO............ i dont know wether to laugh or t...   Sep 3 2010, 10:54 PM
Brimstonezv   A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a dri...   Sep 4 2010, 12:57 AM
Brimstonezv   An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman are sitt...   Sep 4 2010, 10:25 PM
misschickie   merged   Sep 15 2010, 01:58 AM
fun4us94   a married couple were watching a tv show on human ...   Sep 15 2010, 11:42 PM
theinfamousjax   not sure if this is considered a joke but its funn...   Sep 16 2010, 10:00 PM
evade20   Great find!!!! :roflmao: :rofl...   Sep 16 2010, 10:44 PM
theinfamousjax   thank you sir   Sep 16 2010, 10:50 PM
UncleBuck   [attachmentid=90269]   Nov 15 2010, 04:16 PM
evade20   :puke: :puke: :ph34r: :lol:   Nov 15 2010, 10:49 PM
UncleBuck   Holiday tattoos A woman goes into a tattoo parlor...   Dec 3 2010, 11:17 PM
evade20   The TSA: Watch this! I guess it qualifies as...   Dec 5 2010, 06:45 PM
UncleBuck   Involutary Muscle Contractions A professor at th...   Dec 20 2010, 06:29 PM
evade20   :lol: :thumbup:   Dec 20 2010, 10:27 PM
UncleBuck   Ultimate pleasure secrets from around the globe T...   Jan 17 2011, 07:24 PM
evade20   :roflmao:   Jan 17 2011, 07:32 PM
fun4us94   a man and his wife were watching a tv documentary ...   Jan 22 2011, 12:27 AM
fun4us94   shit...had forgotten i had already posted this on...   Jan 22 2011, 12:46 AM
fun4us94   every mornin ole boudreaux stops at the same gener...   Jan 22 2011, 02:18 AM
stevieboy   For years men and women have been at odds concerni...   Jan 27 2011, 01:27 PM
ddd35   At a school in North Carolina a teacher in english...   Jan 29 2011, 12:46 PM
evade20   I'm My Own Grandpa! :ph34r:   Feb 12 2011, 07:38 PM
EthanReed   A deaf man and a deaf woman recently got married. ...   May 4 2011, 07:45 AM
evade20   Smart man! :lol:   May 4 2011, 08:37 AM
ddd35   :2thumbsup:   May 4 2011, 05:33 PM
UncleBuck   May the 4th be with you !!!!!...   May 4 2011, 11:13 AM
EthanReed   Three men were eating their lunch at the building ...   May 6 2011, 08:49 AM
UncleBuck   It was my anniversary last week. My wife asked me ...   Jul 21 2011, 12:10 PM
Buck Turgidson   She married a sugar daddy with lots of candy... h...   Jul 31 2011, 04:53 PM
UncleBuck   A SHORT BEDTIME STORY [attachmen...   Aug 24 2011, 09:02 AM
evade20   Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seat...   Aug 24 2011, 10:48 PM
UncleBuck   Now dat der's just plain funny !!...   Oct 20 2011, 07:29 PM
evade20   3D tried it but he forgot that there aren't...   Oct 21 2011, 10:34 AM
evade20   http://www.ratemymelons.com/chat/uploads/post-1165...   Oct 20 2011, 04:54 PM
evade20   Mount Rushmore from the Canadian side:   Oct 22 2011, 10:18 AM
rage   What tastes good on pie but not on pussy.... ...   Oct 22 2011, 03:16 PM
rage   What tastes good on pie but not on pussy.... ...   Oct 22 2011, 03:16 PM
evade20   It sounded so good he posted it twice! :...   Oct 22 2011, 03:27 PM
icandoit   A married couple down on their luck decides to mak...   Oct 25 2011, 12:08 AM
valoish   Icandoit, you wouldn't get 50c per client,,,, ...   Oct 29 2011, 01:42 PM
icandoit   Not sure if this is a compliment or not... Are ...   Nov 2 2011, 02:02 PM
evade20   You better duck and cover, Valoish! Icand...   Nov 2 2011, 08:15 PM
valoish   Huh....not at all babe... you know I would nev...   Nov 3 2011, 06:51 PM
evade20   :haha: Can't say I didn't warn you.... :p...   Nov 3 2011, 08:38 PM
stackedmom   Didn't read all other pages so don't know ...   Oct 29 2011, 03:58 PM
evade20   Looks real good! :niceones: :niceones: :...   Oct 29 2011, 05:20 PM
ddd35   OH Yeah :P   Nov 3 2011, 03:28 PM
UncleBuck   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZW7VGsSIgs...playe...   Jan 19 2012, 10:50 AM
evade20   This one was funny, too! http://www.youtu...   Jan 19 2012, 06:08 PM
evade20   not a joke, but some excellent slam poetry: http:...   Jan 20 2012, 05:16 PM
FreakyShinnizle   Wimp is straight up awesome.   Feb 22 2012, 12:46 AM
evade20   :2thumbsup: Truely!   Feb 22 2012, 01:34 AM
evade20   How the heart became the symbol of Valentine?s Day   Feb 20 2012, 10:37 PM
ddd35   :2thumbsup:   Feb 21 2012, 08:17 AM
evade20   Talent! http://www.bitoffun.com/video_vault/s...   Feb 23 2012, 08:34 PM
evade20   99 words for boobs   Feb 23 2012, 09:04 PM
UncleBuck   Sensitivity Test For Men 1. In the company of fe...   Feb 25 2012, 11:20 AM
evade20   What is a passing score? :huh:   Feb 25 2012, 02:44 PM
ddd35   :roflmao:   Mar 2 2012, 10:17 AM
evade20   Gardening.... too lazy to type this in so I scann...   Mar 1 2012, 05:53 PM
evade20   Irish yoga :puke:   Mar 11 2012, 12:09 AM
icandoit   Accountant gets caught embezzling millions of doll...   Jun 28 2012, 07:54 PM
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