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Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?
| foxy lady |
Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM
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D Cup
   
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From: St. Catherines - Niagara, Ontario
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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...." God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?" Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, " Ah, yes." "Well ," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.
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It takes a bitch like me to love a bastard like him
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Posts in this topic
foxy lady Jokes Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM ddd35 We just bought a race horse to run in next yrs k... Aug 9 2007, 02:07 PM bntit A man and a woman are sitting at a bar during Happ... Aug 11 2007, 12:47 PM rdmoscow1808 enjoy!! Aug 13 2007, 09:51 AM rdmoscow1808 FAMILY
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in... Aug 15 2007, 09:51 AM Bobaloo
That was hilarious. Joke of the thread, in my bo... Aug 15 2007, 02:34 PM ddd35
well and the million to win .. :P Aug 16 2007, 10:18 AM  Bobaloo
Well, that's a perk for sure, but the girls s... Aug 16 2007, 10:42 AM   ddd35
yes , yes it does . Aug 17 2007, 03:49 PM closeup The Bathtub Test!
During a visit to the menta... Aug 26 2007, 09:12 AM evade20
Welcome to the monkey house! :roflmao: Aug 26 2007, 09:18 AM evade20 http://www.jowsey.com/jokes/sheep-NZ.jpg
... Aug 26 2007, 11:37 AM Bobaloo
that pic is just wrong. i mean, i can't beli... Aug 27 2007, 12:33 AM  ddd35
I thought they should have hung there hats on th... Sep 2 2007, 07:12 AM rdmoscow1808 A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk... Sep 2 2007, 10:00 AM rdmoscow1808 An American is having breakfast, in Paris, one mor... Oct 8 2007, 12:37 PM aimee2 Bears & Beer
A bear walks into a bar in Bill... Oct 10 2007, 10:44 PM rdmoscow1808
:roflmao: :roflmao: :lol: :lol: Oct 12 2007, 09:30 AM bondiguy Q.Why don't women need a watch?
A.There's... Nov 30 2007, 01:45 AM DoubleJ
Classy Nov 30 2007, 02:26 AM  bondiguy
LOL sorry.... it is funny though. I have a milli... Nov 30 2007, 02:38 AM   DoubleJ
no need to apologize man, i can't remember t... Nov 30 2007, 02:42 AM    bondiguy
touche....
Q.Why are women's feet smaller t... Nov 30 2007, 02:45 AM     DoubleJ
haha, but as terrible as it may make me seem I t... Nov 30 2007, 02:49 AM      bondiguy
The more sexist or racist the joke is... the fun... Nov 30 2007, 02:51 AM       DoubleJ
and no matter what you say on here chances are i... Nov 30 2007, 02:56 AM        bondiguy
Yes sir... these lovely ladies have my back and ... Nov 30 2007, 03:07 AM         DoubleJ
hmmm, a back-man odd most guys are boob or ass o... Nov 30 2007, 03:11 AM          bondiguy
I am definitely the latter and yes, I have often... Nov 30 2007, 03:15 AM           DoubleJ
yeah don't tell any women that may need the ... Nov 30 2007, 03:22 AM            bondiguy
Excellent swordsmenship I take it? lol
Another ... Nov 30 2007, 03:24 AM             DoubleJ
When did woman get the right to cross the street... Nov 30 2007, 03:27 AM              bondiguy
BAM! :P Nov 30 2007, 04:22 PM closeup
That reminds me: Why do brides always wear white?... Dec 2 2007, 02:32 AM  ddd35
LOL :2thumbsup: Dec 2 2007, 01:59 PM Kiana :roflmao: :thumbup: Dec 1 2007, 12:30 PM valoish Saddam's last thrill
http://i65.photobucket.... Dec 1 2007, 03:01 PM valoish Women's favorite Shop
http://www.watchersweb.... Dec 1 2007, 03:18 PM bondiguy
Thanks hun!
:lol: Yeah I was fishing for ... Dec 3 2007, 12:19 AM misschickie Bondi and closeup... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Q: How... Dec 4 2007, 01:32 AM  closeup
Okay, we're even. Here's one: Why can... Dec 4 2007, 01:41 AM   misschickie
ok, that cracked me up like an egg. :roflmao: Dec 4 2007, 01:53 AM   DoubleJ
hey some people might be in to that sort of thin... Dec 4 2007, 02:08 AM    misschickie
Is that a rake in your pocket or are you just ha... Dec 4 2007, 02:13 AM     DoubleJ
no pockets, i've been free from my pants for... Dec 4 2007, 02:16 AM      misschickie
NICE...I hate it when I have to wrestle a man ou... Dec 4 2007, 02:21 AM       DoubleJ
I bet they usually cum easy for you though when y... Dec 4 2007, 02:23 AM        misschickie
Well, lets just see about that, shall we?
(yes,... Dec 6 2007, 01:50 AM         DoubleJ
not near cozy enough if you ask me Dec 6 2007, 02:11 AM bondiguy
:lol: I had not heard that before... not bad at ... Dec 6 2007, 12:33 AM misschickie
:lol: and :lol:
Now, here is one Just for you... Dec 6 2007, 01:49 AM  bondiguy
Funny coz it's true! lol
Q. What do you... Dec 6 2007, 02:05 AM misschickie :kisses:
lol...those are terrible!!... Dec 6 2007, 02:21 AM bondiguy
<_<
Q. How many men does it take to ope... Dec 6 2007, 06:21 AM  Damor
Thats good!
See if this one has been said be... Dec 6 2007, 07:58 AM   bondiguy
Not bad...
Q. How do you turn a fox into an ele... Dec 6 2007, 11:58 PM    Damor
Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a r... Dec 7 2007, 12:09 AM     bondiguy
:lol: nice one Dec 7 2007, 12:54 AM   misschickie
:lol: :lol: :lol: Dec 8 2007, 02:13 PM misschickie
oh very nice...lol
:lol: Dec 8 2007, 02:12 PM UncleBuck Q: How do you tell when a woman is going to say s... Dec 8 2007, 03:18 PM misschickie Man translations...
When a man says: CAN I HELP W... Dec 8 2007, 04:51 PM Damor
I got one..
Q. How do you keep a blonde in suspe... Dec 10 2007, 12:41 AM bondiguy
Beautiful... I love it!
Tell me the answe... Dec 10 2007, 12:43 AM UncleBuck > >>Subject: Diplomatic
> >>A ma... Dec 11 2007, 03:16 PM closeup Did you hear about the flasher who was gonna retir... Dec 18 2007, 05:31 PM bondiguy
lol that joke sounds like it should have a multi... Dec 18 2007, 11:11 PM aimee2 Q. Why do hookers make more money than drug dealer... Dec 24 2007, 03:10 AM UncleBuck
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: Dec 28 2007, 12:03 PM evade20
:lol: :lol: Dec 28 2007, 12:43 PM ddd35
:roflmao: Jan 3 2008, 01:54 PM closeup A classic: Jan 3 2008, 11:08 PM evade20
Damn, Cut that dude off! :roflmao: :roflm... Jan 4 2008, 05:06 AM closeup Check this out: Feb 15 2008, 04:19 PM evade20
It reminds me of your former sig. pic that seem... Feb 15 2008, 10:48 PM  closeup
This one? Feb 16 2008, 01:21 PM   evade20
No! :roflmao: Feb 17 2008, 12:02 AM rdmoscow1808 A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husban... Feb 19 2008, 11:04 AM rdmoscow1808 A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit... Mar 24 2008, 06:09 PM evade20
:roflmao: Mar 24 2008, 10:46 PM betty A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate fun... Mar 25 2008, 03:02 AM UncleBuck Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Gir... Apr 5 2008, 11:45 PM evade20
:roflmao: Apr 5 2008, 11:54 PM ddd35
thats a crack up Apr 8 2008, 03:12 PM rdmoscow1808
:2thumbsup: :2thumbsup: :2thumbsup: Absolute... Apr 10 2008, 04:34 PM UncleBuck As an airplane is about to crash, a female passeng... Apr 8 2008, 11:14 PM juicyboobs
:roflmao: Apr 9 2008, 04:21 AM closeup check this out: Apr 12 2008, 04:27 PM ddd35
a nice repeat :P Apr 13 2008, 11:21 AM chelsey Why are married women heavier than single women?
... Apr 13 2008, 09:57 PM ddd35
OUCH !!!!! Apr 14 2008, 04:56 PM UncleBuck [size=14]Well, sometimes life is a bitch
You come ... May 24 2008, 04:33 PM UncleBuck The Harley-Davidson Facts
The inventor of the H... Jun 27 2008, 09:25 AM TiGGrrr In support of Barack Obama, Women all over the Uni... Nov 6 2008, 04:54 PM penman Barack Obama has only been president a few hours a... Nov 7 2008, 06:16 PM
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