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> Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?

foxy lady
post Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM
Post #1


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From: St. Catherines - Niagara, Ontario
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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle,
Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At
the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've
been such a good man and your motorcycles have
changed the world, your reward is, you can hang
out with anyone you want to in heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then
said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and
introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so
you were the one who invented the
Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...."
God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in
inventing something that's pretty unstable,
makes noise and pollution and can't run without
a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally
spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, " Ah, yes."
"Well ," said Arthur, "professional to
professional, you have some major design flaws
in your invention:


1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion



2. It chatters constantly at high speeds


3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much


4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust


5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!


"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,"
replied God, "hold on."

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed
in a few words and waited for the results. The
computer printed out a slip of paper and God
read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is
flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to
these numbers, more men are riding my invention
than yours.


--------------------
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Posts in this topic
foxy lady   Jokes   Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM
closeup   CITY OF NEW YORK - REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFIC...   Feb 8 2007, 06:20 PM
evade20   Sounds like black mail to me :ph34r: :roflmao:   Feb 8 2007, 11:30 PM
closeup   I'm gonna try this on Tera, I hope she hasn...   Feb 11 2007, 02:45 PM
TiGGrrr   A Women went to the Doctors as she is having a few...   Feb 11 2007, 04:10 PM
rdmoscow1808   A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine ...   Feb 12 2007, 11:03 AM
bntit   Now this one was just funny... The Pope decided t...   Feb 17 2007, 07:43 PM
NakedGirlLover   This one's best as an audible joke... What...   Feb 20 2007, 10:12 PM
natalie   If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock...   Feb 22 2007, 02:58 PM
ddd35   RE: Jokes   Feb 22 2007, 02:59 PM
evade20   That's a meaningful comment! :blink:   Feb 25 2007, 07:10 PM
NakedGirlLover   Laura Bush is inspecting a new wing of a hospital....   Feb 24 2007, 06:58 PM
Something_Creative   Dear Wife, During the past year I have tried to ma...   Feb 24 2007, 11:29 PM
Something_Creative   A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine ...   Feb 24 2007, 11:31 PM
betty   [b]Yorkshire girls are the best![/u] Three me...   Feb 27 2007, 06:03 AM
NakedGirlLover   There's nowt like a Yorkshire lass. :wub:   Feb 27 2007, 09:36 PM
NakedGirlLover   A man goes into a burger joint. He notices a sign ...   Feb 27 2007, 09:40 PM
bntit   A New Drink A woman and her boyfriend are ...   Mar 12 2007, 06:44 PM
NakedGirlLover   :roflmao: :thumbup: :drinkup:   Mar 13 2007, 09:46 PM
bntit   An old southern country preacher had a teenage son...   Mar 14 2007, 12:38 AM
bntit   A woman takes a lover home during the day while he...   Mar 14 2007, 12:41 AM
evade20   Good one. :lol:   Mar 14 2007, 10:42 PM
ddd35   T HREE COWBOYS ARE SITTING AROUND THE CAMPFIRE OUT...   Mar 16 2007, 10:28 PM
Puppet   Ok so i great a great joke: ddd35 I WIN!   Mar 18 2007, 04:47 PM
ddd35   I put it up with you in mind ! :P   Mar 19 2007, 07:18 AM
closeup   The Forbes Fictional 15 #2 Burns, C. Montgomery ...   Mar 22 2007, 05:20 PM
rdmoscow1808   What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoov...   Mar 25 2007, 07:11 PM
sweetnsexy   Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering ai...   Mar 25 2007, 08:58 PM
evade20   oooooooooo :roflmao:   Mar 25 2007, 09:07 PM
SKULLZ0MBIE   How do you get a lady to give you Head and whistle...   Mar 26 2007, 10:04 AM
bntit   :roflmao: sooooo wrong...but soooooooooo funny...   Mar 26 2007, 05:36 PM
bntit   Yodeling Have you ever wondered where and how yo...   Mar 26 2007, 05:38 PM
evade20   I've got to send that to a couple of friends ...   Mar 26 2007, 11:41 PM
ddd35   So were you the Daughter or the old lady ? :...   Apr 13 2007, 10:39 AM
SKULLZ0MBIE   What do you call a person with no Arms or Legs? ...   Mar 27 2007, 02:29 AM
bntit   Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question....   Apr 7 2007, 07:58 PM
evade20   Take 60 seconds to do this, it's too funny not...   Apr 12 2007, 01:44 PM
bntit   That is funny... :thumbup:   Apr 12 2007, 05:09 PM
closeup   Actually, it's the exact right answer for the...   Apr 12 2007, 08:14 PM
ddd35   :thumbup: I thought the same thing , its rea...   Apr 13 2007, 10:38 AM
ddd35   what do a rattlesnake and soft penis have in comm...   Apr 14 2007, 11:06 AM
ddd35   What gets longer when pulled and works better when...   Apr 14 2007, 11:07 AM
ddd35   IT SEAMS George Bush has the same problem as h...   Apr 14 2007, 11:08 AM
ddd35   what is something a wife can say to her husband th...   Apr 14 2007, 11:09 AM
Macdonald   :roflmao: This one has always been a favourit...   Apr 16 2007, 12:23 AM
evade20   Billy First-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was...   Apr 17 2007, 08:22 AM
rdmoscow1808   The boss had to fire somebody, so he narrowed it d...   Apr 18 2007, 02:26 PM
evade20   :roflmao:   Apr 18 2007, 10:14 PM
Macdonald   Guy picks up the phone and it's his doctor who...   Apr 18 2007, 10:36 PM
rdmoscow1808   :2thumbsup: :2thumbsup: :roflmao: :roflmao:   Apr 20 2007, 11:39 AM
UncleBuck   The Old Motor He's 80, she's 20. It ...   Apr 30 2007, 02:28 PM
evade20   :ph34r: :roflmao:   Apr 30 2007, 04:38 PM
rdmoscow1808   The Monkey A guy walks into a bar with ...   May 10 2007, 09:21 AM
misschickie   :thumbup: :roflmao:   May 10 2007, 02:01 PM
closeup   The Doctor tells his patient he has good news and ...   May 10 2007, 03:33 PM
misschickie   :roflmao: love it! An elderly couple go to...   May 10 2007, 05:51 PM
rdmoscow1808   :2thumbsup: :P :cheers:   May 10 2007, 06:40 PM
closeup   I really like a joke I can remember and this one ...   May 10 2007, 09:29 PM
rdmoscow1808   Two Jewish men, 'Sid' and 'Al' wer...   May 11 2007, 09:44 AM
misschickie   :roflmao: :roflmao:   May 12 2007, 07:52 PM
BiJennyDD   :) wow thats is awesome :) :)   May 13 2007, 11:17 PM
Bouncey   :lol: :lol: :lol: I'm loving his thread, Th...   May 14 2007, 12:12 AM
rdmoscow1808   A man and a woman were having drinks when they got...   May 19 2007, 08:41 PM
misschickie   :roflmao: love that one!   May 20 2007, 02:19 PM
misschickie   Friendship Between Women: A woman didn't come ...   May 20 2007, 02:23 PM
evade20   Men are all liars.... :lol: :bang:   May 20 2007, 02:32 PM
misschickie   but, completely irresistible! :wub:   May 20 2007, 02:45 PM
rdmoscow1808   ok...how did you know??? I am a completely irre...   May 20 2007, 02:51 PM
misschickie   mmmm....really.... how sad that that made me hot...   May 20 2007, 04:44 PM
misschickie   A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that he’...   May 20 2007, 04:55 PM
evade20   HAROLD THE COMPUTER GUY I was having trouble w...   May 22 2007, 07:30 AM
rdmoscow1808   :thumbup: :thumbup: :roflmao: :roflmao: tha...   May 22 2007, 02:50 PM
rdmoscow1808   An elderly couple in their 80's were about to...   May 29 2007, 09:41 PM
betty   Apologies if i've offended any men here, but I...   Jun 6 2007, 04:30 PM
ddd35   thats what Im talking about in babys thread ...   Jun 7 2007, 08:57 AM
ddd35   >>> > A very attractive blonde woman f...   Jun 7 2007, 09:18 AM
misschickie   :roflmao: :roflmao:   Jun 7 2007, 11:15 AM
ddd35   well as a man I can even say this is true !...   Jun 7 2007, 02:05 PM
rdmoscow1808   On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of w...   Jul 3 2007, 06:29 AM
aimee2   But it wouldn't hurt to have one anyway!   Jul 3 2007, 06:44 AM
evade20   I'd like to see Aimee riding a Harley naked...   Jul 3 2007, 08:46 AM
aimee2   I've been on back topless!   Jul 3 2007, 08:48 AM
evade20   Pics??? :niceones:   Jul 3 2007, 08:53 AM
evade20   :drama: :whipya: Waiting! :whipya:   Jul 3 2007, 01:43 PM
aimee2   Sorry evade none taken.   Jul 4 2007, 11:46 PM
ddd35   " IT'S TIME AGAIN FOR YOUR MAN'S ANNU...   Jul 12 2007, 09:19 AM
closeup   I'll go along with all but #2. I used to ha...   Jul 12 2007, 10:05 AM
Gnappster   that sound like one crazy cat! ...   Jul 12 2007, 11:22 AM
ddd35   sounds like a alley cat .   Jul 12 2007, 02:00 PM
closeup   He wasn't an alley cat, he was just a big coon...   Jul 12 2007, 11:39 PM
evade20   Maine coon cats are awesome! :2thumbsup:   Aug 9 2007, 06:23 AM
COMEDYMAN   I guess I should be adding more to this :D.... ...   Jul 25 2007, 09:15 PM
closeup   Not only do I like it, I'll actually remember...   Jul 25 2007, 11:30 PM
ddd35   I guy gets out of the shower , he has a raging ha...   Jul 26 2007, 09:39 AM
jdoggy   bulimia - twice the taste with none of the calorie...   Jul 27 2007, 01:33 AM
belicked6924   They say 90% of people say "OH SHIT" jus...   Jul 27 2007, 04:19 AM
closeup   This was the top joke in the UK: “ A woman gets o...   Jul 28 2007, 12:16 AM
bondiguy   That was the top Australian joke? :blink:   Jul 28 2007, 12:19 AM
closeup   Yeah, according to Wikipedia. :unsure:   Jul 28 2007, 12:44 AM
misschickie   closeup, that UK joke was funny as hell! :...   Jul 28 2007, 05:57 PM
mountainlust   An old man, hard of hearing, goes to a new doctor....   Jul 28 2007, 09:58 PM
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