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Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?
| foxy lady |
Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM
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D Cup
   
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Joined: 14-March 06
From: St. Catherines - Niagara, Ontario
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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...." God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?" Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, " Ah, yes." "Well ," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.
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It takes a bitch like me to love a bastard like him
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Posts in this topic
foxy lady Jokes Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM closeup CITY OF NEW YORK - REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFIC... Feb 8 2007, 06:20 PM evade20
Sounds like black mail to me :ph34r: :roflmao: Feb 8 2007, 11:30 PM closeup I'm gonna try this on Tera, I hope she hasn... Feb 11 2007, 02:45 PM TiGGrrr A Women went to the Doctors as she is having a few... Feb 11 2007, 04:10 PM rdmoscow1808 A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine
... Feb 12 2007, 11:03 AM bntit Now this one was just funny...
The Pope decided t... Feb 17 2007, 07:43 PM NakedGirlLover This one's best as an audible joke...
What... Feb 20 2007, 10:12 PM natalie If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock... Feb 22 2007, 02:58 PM ddd35 RE: Jokes Feb 22 2007, 02:59 PM  evade20
That's a meaningful comment! :blink: Feb 25 2007, 07:10 PM NakedGirlLover Laura Bush is inspecting a new wing of a hospital.... Feb 24 2007, 06:58 PM Something_Creative Dear Wife,
During the past year I have tried to ma... Feb 24 2007, 11:29 PM Something_Creative A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine
... Feb 24 2007, 11:31 PM betty [b]Yorkshire girls are the best![/u]
Three me... Feb 27 2007, 06:03 AM NakedGirlLover
There's nowt like a Yorkshire lass. :wub: Feb 27 2007, 09:36 PM NakedGirlLover A man goes into a burger joint.
He notices a sign ... Feb 27 2007, 09:40 PM bntit A New Drink
A woman and her boyfriend are
... Mar 12 2007, 06:44 PM NakedGirlLover
:roflmao: :thumbup: :drinkup: Mar 13 2007, 09:46 PM bntit An old southern country preacher had a teenage son... Mar 14 2007, 12:38 AM bntit A woman takes a lover home during the day while he... Mar 14 2007, 12:41 AM evade20
Good one. :lol: Mar 14 2007, 10:42 PM ddd35 T HREE COWBOYS ARE SITTING AROUND THE CAMPFIRE OUT... Mar 16 2007, 10:28 PM Puppet Ok so i great a great joke: ddd35
I WIN! Mar 18 2007, 04:47 PM ddd35
I put it up with you in mind ! :P Mar 19 2007, 07:18 AM closeup The Forbes Fictional 15
#2 Burns, C. Montgomery
... Mar 22 2007, 05:20 PM rdmoscow1808 What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoov... Mar 25 2007, 07:11 PM sweetnsexy Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering ai... Mar 25 2007, 08:58 PM evade20
oooooooooo :roflmao: Mar 25 2007, 09:07 PM SKULLZ0MBIE How do you get a lady to give you Head and whistle... Mar 26 2007, 10:04 AM bntit
:roflmao: sooooo wrong...but soooooooooo funny... Mar 26 2007, 05:36 PM bntit Yodeling
Have you
ever wondered where and how yo... Mar 26 2007, 05:38 PM evade20
I've got to send that to a couple of friends ... Mar 26 2007, 11:41 PM ddd35
So were you the Daughter or the old lady ? :... Apr 13 2007, 10:39 AM SKULLZ0MBIE What do you call a person with no Arms or Legs? ... Mar 27 2007, 02:29 AM bntit Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.... Apr 7 2007, 07:58 PM evade20 Take 60 seconds to do this, it's too funny not... Apr 12 2007, 01:44 PM bntit
That is funny... :thumbup: Apr 12 2007, 05:09 PM closeup
Actually, it's the exact right answer for the... Apr 12 2007, 08:14 PM  ddd35
:thumbup: I thought the same thing , its rea... Apr 13 2007, 10:38 AM ddd35 what do a rattlesnake and soft penis have in comm... Apr 14 2007, 11:06 AM ddd35 What gets longer when pulled and works better when... Apr 14 2007, 11:07 AM ddd35 IT SEAMS George Bush has the same problem as h... Apr 14 2007, 11:08 AM ddd35 what is something a wife can say to her husband th... Apr 14 2007, 11:09 AM Macdonald
:roflmao:
This one has always been a favourit... Apr 16 2007, 12:23 AM evade20 Billy
First-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was... Apr 17 2007, 08:22 AM rdmoscow1808 The boss had to fire somebody, so he narrowed it d... Apr 18 2007, 02:26 PM evade20
:roflmao: Apr 18 2007, 10:14 PM  Macdonald Guy picks up the phone and it's his doctor who... Apr 18 2007, 10:36 PM   rdmoscow1808 :2thumbsup: :2thumbsup: :roflmao: :roflmao: Apr 20 2007, 11:39 AM UncleBuck The Old Motor
He's 80, she's 20.
It ... Apr 30 2007, 02:28 PM evade20
:ph34r: :roflmao: Apr 30 2007, 04:38 PM rdmoscow1808 The Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with ... May 10 2007, 09:21 AM misschickie
:thumbup: :roflmao: May 10 2007, 02:01 PM closeup The Doctor tells his patient he has good news and ... May 10 2007, 03:33 PM misschickie
:roflmao: love it!
An elderly couple go to... May 10 2007, 05:51 PM  rdmoscow1808
:2thumbsup: :P :cheers: May 10 2007, 06:40 PM  closeup
I really like a joke I can remember and this one ... May 10 2007, 09:29 PM rdmoscow1808 Two Jewish men, 'Sid' and 'Al' wer... May 11 2007, 09:44 AM misschickie
:roflmao: :roflmao: May 12 2007, 07:52 PM BiJennyDD :) wow thats is awesome :) :) May 13 2007, 11:17 PM Bouncey :lol: :lol: :lol: I'm loving his thread, Th... May 14 2007, 12:12 AM rdmoscow1808 A man and a woman were having drinks when they got... May 19 2007, 08:41 PM misschickie
:roflmao: love that one! May 20 2007, 02:19 PM misschickie Friendship Between Women:
A woman didn't come ... May 20 2007, 02:23 PM evade20
Men are all liars.... :lol: :bang: May 20 2007, 02:32 PM  misschickie
but, completely irresistible! :wub: May 20 2007, 02:45 PM   rdmoscow1808
ok...how did you know??? I am a completely irre... May 20 2007, 02:51 PM    misschickie
mmmm....really....
how sad that that made me hot... May 20 2007, 04:44 PM misschickie A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that he’... May 20 2007, 04:55 PM evade20 HAROLD THE COMPUTER GUY
I was having trouble w... May 22 2007, 07:30 AM rdmoscow1808
:thumbup: :thumbup: :roflmao: :roflmao: tha... May 22 2007, 02:50 PM rdmoscow1808 An elderly couple in their 80's were about to... May 29 2007, 09:41 PM betty Apologies if i've offended any men here, but I... Jun 6 2007, 04:30 PM ddd35
thats what Im talking about in babys thread ... Jun 7 2007, 08:57 AM ddd35 >>> > A very attractive blonde woman f... Jun 7 2007, 09:18 AM misschickie
:roflmao: :roflmao: Jun 7 2007, 11:15 AM  ddd35
well as a man I can even say this is true !... Jun 7 2007, 02:05 PM rdmoscow1808 On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of w... Jul 3 2007, 06:29 AM aimee2
But it wouldn't hurt to have one anyway! Jul 3 2007, 06:44 AM  evade20
I'd like to see Aimee riding a Harley naked... Jul 3 2007, 08:46 AM   aimee2
I've been on back topless! Jul 3 2007, 08:48 AM    evade20
Pics??? :niceones: Jul 3 2007, 08:53 AM     evade20
:drama: :whipya: Waiting! :whipya: Jul 3 2007, 01:43 PM      aimee2
Sorry evade none taken. Jul 4 2007, 11:46 PM ddd35 "
IT'S TIME AGAIN FOR YOUR MAN'S ANNU... Jul 12 2007, 09:19 AM closeup
I'll go along with all but #2. I used to ha... Jul 12 2007, 10:05 AM  Gnappster
that sound like one crazy cat!
... Jul 12 2007, 11:22 AM  ddd35
sounds like a alley cat . Jul 12 2007, 02:00 PM closeup He wasn't an alley cat, he was just a big coon... Jul 12 2007, 11:39 PM evade20
Maine coon cats are awesome! :2thumbsup: Aug 9 2007, 06:23 AM COMEDYMAN I guess I should be adding more to this :D....
... Jul 25 2007, 09:15 PM closeup
Not only do I like it, I'll actually remember... Jul 25 2007, 11:30 PM ddd35 I guy gets out of the shower , he has a raging ha... Jul 26 2007, 09:39 AM jdoggy bulimia - twice the taste with none of the calorie... Jul 27 2007, 01:33 AM belicked6924 They say 90% of people say "OH SHIT" jus... Jul 27 2007, 04:19 AM closeup This was the top joke in the UK:
“ A woman gets o... Jul 28 2007, 12:16 AM bondiguy
That was the top Australian joke? :blink: Jul 28 2007, 12:19 AM  closeup
Yeah, according to Wikipedia. :unsure: Jul 28 2007, 12:44 AM misschickie
closeup, that UK joke was funny as hell! :... Jul 28 2007, 05:57 PM mountainlust An old man, hard of hearing, goes to a new doctor.... Jul 28 2007, 09:58 PM
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