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> Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?

foxy lady
post Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM
Post #1


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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle,
Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At
the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've
been such a good man and your motorcycles have
changed the world, your reward is, you can hang
out with anyone you want to in heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then
said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and
introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so
you were the one who invented the
Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...."
God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in
inventing something that's pretty unstable,
makes noise and pollution and can't run without
a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally
spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, " Ah, yes."
"Well ," said Arthur, "professional to
professional, you have some major design flaws
in your invention:


1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion



2. It chatters constantly at high speeds


3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much


4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust


5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!


"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,"
replied God, "hold on."

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed
in a few words and waited for the results. The
computer printed out a slip of paper and God
read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is
flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to
these numbers, more men are riding my invention
than yours.
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Posts in this topic
foxy lady   Jokes   Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM
evade20   A Fairy Tale A Married Couple in their early 60’s...   Aug 4 2006, 10:27 AM
belicked6924   Not in all cases. :haha:   Aug 4 2006, 12:05 PM
evade20   You should know! Your the one who has been...   Aug 4 2006, 03:17 PM
belicked6924   Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed mo...   Aug 8 2006, 10:17 AM
evade20   Good one.   Aug 8 2006, 02:55 PM
evade20   Diving test question?   Aug 8 2006, 04:06 PM
evade20   ...   Aug 8 2006, 04:19 PM
belicked6924   A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his pari...   Aug 12 2006, 05:31 AM
evade20   Not a joke but a funny "You Tube" link. ...   Aug 16 2006, 08:22 AM
janeyanne   A man goes into a restaurant and orders a cheesebu...   Aug 23 2006, 07:14 PM
evade20   :lol: :lol: I'll pass on the Doughnuts...   Aug 26 2006, 02:12 PM
foxy lady   Funeral Procession Here You Go Girls (and dog lo...   Aug 28 2006, 08:48 AM
ddd35   I bought a prize rooster , had in my yard , well...   Sep 1 2006, 02:13 PM
evade20   A man went into a lawyer's office, and demande...   Sep 5 2006, 04:44 PM
closeup   This sounds like a joke but it really happened: A...   Sep 5 2006, 06:12 PM
evade20   Did you hear about the priest and the nun who took...   Sep 15 2006, 04:55 PM
rdmoscow1808   A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a smal...   Sep 19 2006, 09:25 PM
COMEDYMAN   Classic one line from the late great Buddy Hackett...   Sep 20 2006, 07:23 PM
Bobaloo   classic!!! how 'bout this... A ...   Sep 22 2006, 10:46 AM
Christof   3 women are in a cafe chatting, 1st one says I...   Sep 24 2006, 07:13 AM
UncleBuck   An Englishman goes to Australia with his wife; the...   Oct 3 2006, 02:36 PM
evade20   Isn't "Five Star Hotel" & Austr...   Oct 3 2006, 03:16 PM
HardDick69   What kinda bees make milk? "boo bees" ...   Oct 3 2006, 04:35 PM
Bobaloo   I love that joke, but you cut out half of it. He...   Oct 3 2006, 04:39 PM
HardDick69   haha oops! My mistake, yah a great joke, it...   Oct 3 2006, 04:46 PM
Bobaloo   Never seen it here. I often think of posting it,...   Oct 3 2006, 05:06 PM
HardDick69   haha I'll see what I can do :P   Oct 4 2006, 03:28 PM
Bobaloo   sweet!!! My 411 thread will be the n...   Oct 4 2006, 03:51 PM
HardDick69   Yah ppl will have to donate to your paypay accou...   Oct 4 2006, 04:09 PM
UncleBuck   Older but not Wiser A woman decides to have a fac...   Oct 3 2006, 09:58 PM
HardDick69   lmao that's awesome, good one   Oct 4 2006, 03:27 PM
closeup   Uncle Bucks joke reminded me of this one; A hu...   Oct 4 2006, 10:34 PM
Bobaloo   Best hustle ever!!! :thumbup: :lol:   Oct 5 2006, 11:23 AM
boanna   dang. i cant tell my jokes...cause they are things...   Oct 13 2006, 03:47 PM
closeup   Like a practical joke? Those ARE hard to tell, y...   Oct 13 2006, 04:06 PM
evade20   Did you hear about the man and woman astronaut who...   Oct 18 2006, 03:33 PM
foxy lady   "Onions" and "Christmas Tree" ...   Nov 6 2006, 01:46 PM
foxy lady   Anna had lost her husband almost 4 yrs ago. Her...   Nov 6 2006, 01:48 PM
evade20   Thanks Foxy! :2thumbsup:   Nov 6 2006, 04:04 PM
closeup   Great effort, Foxy and evade. I can always use a g...   Nov 6 2006, 04:30 PM
evade20   I guess this will have to fit into the jokes threa...   Nov 20 2006, 09:01 AM
Purduemyron   A little puzzle for y'all. Can you find the tr...   Dec 5 2006, 01:06 PM
Bobaloo   Nope! but I bet it has a haulin' ass bump...   Dec 5 2006, 06:54 PM
bondiguy   Right behind all the hot naked women? :P   Dec 6 2006, 12:52 AM
evade20   It would take a aggie from Purdue to think this w...   Dec 6 2006, 06:19 AM
adzster   Here's a joke for you all. Bill Gates dies and...   Dec 10 2006, 08:04 PM
bondiguy   Boom Tish!   Dec 11 2006, 12:06 AM
rdmoscow1808   One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe say...   Dec 11 2006, 04:13 PM
evade20   Damn, RD, if you're going to post a joke that...   Dec 12 2006, 09:04 AM
bondiguy   A fired up evade :thumbup:   Dec 12 2006, 05:15 PM
rdmoscow1808   So sorry to upset you....do I owe you some money?...   Dec 12 2006, 10:24 PM
closeup   I liked your joke and had never heard it before.   Dec 13 2006, 02:36 PM
Gnappster   but in evade's defence, you probably just fi...   Dec 13 2006, 02:44 PM
closeup   It'll be three weeks next Wednesday. :nahnah:   Dec 13 2006, 02:46 PM
Bobaloo   "She kick my dog, and now I'm going to f...   Dec 13 2006, 04:39 PM
Gnappster   I do, jerky! :lol:   Dec 13 2006, 04:43 PM
Bobaloo   :thumbup:   Dec 13 2006, 05:19 PM
Christof   What has 2 legs and flies? A pai...   Dec 11 2006, 05:19 PM
Bobaloo   speaking of flies, what happened to the fly on th...   Dec 11 2006, 06:45 PM
bondiguy   Worst Joke Ever http://www.progets.com/simpsons...   Dec 12 2006, 12:12 AM
janeyanne   FIRST CHRISTMAS JOKE Three men died on Chris...   Dec 13 2006, 02:13 PM
evade20   Great joke, Janeyanne! :2thumbsup:   Dec 13 2006, 05:40 PM
closeup   Two second graders are walking home from school. O...   Dec 13 2006, 05:33 PM
Bobaloo   now that's humor. Great joke. I'm going...   Dec 13 2006, 05:54 PM
closeup   A gold miner was injured at work and had to have h...   Dec 13 2006, 07:47 PM
HardDick69   roflmao, that's fuckin great. I hate tha...   Dec 15 2006, 03:12 PM
bondiguy   :roflmao: The only jokes I know are either ex...   Dec 13 2006, 11:51 PM
Gnappster   I'm quite low brow.   Dec 14 2006, 02:03 AM
bondiguy   I swear as soon as I posted my last post I knew ...   Dec 14 2006, 06:23 AM
Bobaloo   I woulda, but Gnappy was too quick!   Dec 14 2006, 03:16 PM
bondiguy   He is very, very fast! (Or so his wife tells...   Dec 14 2006, 10:55 PM
ddd35   burn baby burn ..   Dec 15 2006, 02:40 PM
rdmoscow1808   A Christmas Story 'Twas the night before Chr...   Dec 14 2006, 12:12 PM
ddd35   A guy was telling a bartender (Bondi ) that he me...   Dec 14 2006, 03:24 PM
bondiguy   I'd pay money to see that!   Dec 15 2006, 05:22 PM
closeup   This could of went under "Thought for the Day...   Dec 19 2006, 11:00 PM
bondiguy   So my next door neighbour's son is 15. He is a...   Dec 20 2006, 12:25 AM
Gnappster   hahaha, best one I've heard in awhile.   Dec 20 2006, 11:24 AM
bondiguy   Thank you, try the veal! :P Seriously thou...   Dec 21 2006, 01:30 AM
evade20   :roflmao: Speaking of SEX: [size=14]A dog name...   Jan 3 2007, 08:35 AM
ddd35   two ladies in the hair salon ... My man is hu...   Jan 3 2007, 04:20 PM
rdmoscow1808   Old Man..... The old man in his mid-eighties...   Jan 12 2007, 11:04 PM
betty   WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE WHAT DO YOU EXPE...   Jan 14 2007, 06:45 AM
betty   Not sure if this should be in here, but what the h...   Jan 14 2007, 07:40 AM
closeup   Those bollards are so dangerous, I can't bele...   Jan 14 2007, 11:28 AM
natalie   Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have...   Jan 15 2007, 12:41 PM
Gnappster   Bollards is a funny word. The people that hit t...   Jan 15 2007, 01:24 PM
closeup   Great jokes, ladies. Gnappy, I agree thinning the ...   Jan 15 2007, 01:45 PM
betty   There's flashing signs for about 150 yards be...   Jan 15 2007, 03:07 PM
closeup   If that's the case, I agree. I'd like to ...   Jan 15 2007, 04:33 PM
evade20   :thumbup:   Jan 15 2007, 06:18 PM
closeup   Homer: What can I do? I'm only one man. Lisa: ...   Jan 16 2007, 10:18 PM
closeup   HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORREC...   Jan 17 2007, 06:03 PM
rdmoscow1808   Three handsome male dogs are walking down the stre...   Jan 22 2007, 12:38 PM
rdmoscow1808   A NORWEGIAN DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS CANADA TO SEE...   Jan 22 2007, 12:45 PM
betty   The priest in a small village loved his chickens t...   Jan 24 2007, 03:38 PM
Bobaloo   A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon...   Jan 24 2007, 04:25 PM
Gnappster   haha, that's great. I was laughing so hard I...   Jan 24 2007, 04:55 PM
Bobaloo   now that was fucking funny. :roflmao:   Jan 24 2007, 05:24 PM
MrMike1952   Why did the blond buy curtains for her computer?   Feb 8 2007, 04:51 PM
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