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Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?
| foxy lady |
Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM
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D Cup
   
Group: Members
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Joined: 14-March 06
From: St. Catherines - Niagara, Ontario
Member No.: 14,069

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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...." God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?" Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, " Ah, yes." "Well ," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.
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It takes a bitch like me to love a bastard like him
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Posts in this topic
foxy lady Jokes Apr 12 2006, 02:46 PM evade20 The Center for Disease Control has issued a warnin... May 31 2006, 10:11 AM evade20 Subject: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABB... May 31 2006, 10:15 AM evade20 Women in heaven
1st woman: Hi! My name is... May 31 2006, 10:23 AM foxy lady
Absolutely hilarious :roflmao: May 31 2006, 11:37 AM  Bobaloo A high school English teacher reminds her class of... May 31 2006, 12:31 PM   foxy lady
:whatever: :lol: May 31 2006, 01:11 PM foxy lady [size=7]No Specka de English[/b]
The bus stops an... May 31 2006, 12:52 PM evade20
:roflmao: :roflmao: May 31 2006, 12:54 PM evade20 BRITS REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE
(A Message from J... May 31 2006, 04:02 PM foxy lady Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the ur... May 31 2006, 09:46 PM evade20
:ph34r: :lol: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: ... May 31 2006, 09:54 PM evade20
I've passed this joke on to several people. ... Jun 10 2006, 09:54 AM  foxy lady
I'm glad you liked the joke :lol:
But now... Jun 10 2006, 04:30 PM   evade20
I'd have to use body braille to fined out... Jun 10 2006, 06:54 PM evade20 http://www.ratemymelons.com/chat/uploads/post-1068... Jun 2 2006, 10:29 AM foxy lady
Debatable but funny :nahnah: Jun 2 2006, 10:32 AM  evade20
ooooo Maybe Kathleen is trying to develop a th... Jun 2 2006, 10:36 AM evade20 Robot Bartender
A man walks into a bar a... Jun 6 2006, 10:01 PM foxy lady
:lol: Jun 7 2006, 08:31 AM  Bobaloo A knight and his men return to their castle after ... Jun 7 2006, 05:54 PM evade20 Sometimes this is true even on this board:http://w... Jun 9 2006, 11:36 PM foxy lady
:roflmao: That is just freaking hilarious....... Jun 9 2006, 11:46 PM  evade20
A .gif is worth a thousand words. :lol: :lol: ... Jun 10 2006, 12:00 AM   Bobaloo
You mean, it's the .gif that keeps of .gifing Jun 10 2006, 09:37 AM foxy lady A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand ... Jun 12 2006, 11:42 AM ndboxer :P :lol: :lol: Jun 13 2006, 10:46 AM Bobaloo Great joke, Foxy!!!
here's my jok... Jun 14 2006, 09:30 AM  foxy lady
Ouch :lol: Jun 14 2006, 09:33 AM  belicked6924
Jokes are so much funnier when they're from p... Jun 14 2006, 07:31 PM   evade20
Closeup's stick figure experience....That... Jun 15 2006, 07:44 AM    Bobaloo A construction worker was whistling and verbally h... Jun 15 2006, 02:38 PM ndboxer
How did gnappy get past security anyways?? :huh... Jun 14 2006, 12:42 PM foxy lady Unlucky Flea
One winter year, these two little fl... Jun 14 2006, 01:27 PM evade20
:puke: :o Jun 14 2006, 04:40 PM foxy lady Only I Can Have This!
An 8 year old boy walks ... Jun 16 2006, 04:21 PM evade20
OOOOO! Foxy, Your so hot.... :roflmao: :rofl... Jun 16 2006, 04:43 PM foxy lady NEWFIE IN THE MORGUE
Clyde the Newfie died ... Jun 19 2006, 10:41 PM foxy lady Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this gu... Jun 22 2006, 11:47 AM evade20
:ph34r: :puke: :puke: :ph34r: :roflmao: Jun 22 2006, 12:31 PM Bobaloo that is absolutely disgusting yet twice as funny... Jun 22 2006, 03:51 PM  foxy lady
I thought so too :lol: Jun 22 2006, 04:02 PM   evade20
Must be one of those Nurse Jokes.
My sister w... Jun 22 2006, 07:52 PM Gnappster
bastard!
:roflmao: Jun 22 2006, 04:04 PM evade20 Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sig... Jun 23 2006, 10:29 PM foxy lady
Now that is funny :roflmao: Jun 23 2006, 11:39 PM  evade20
Which one? :lol: :lol: Jun 23 2006, 11:49 PM   foxy lady
The hubby giving himself away :P Jun 24 2006, 01:58 PM foxy lady [b]Take Your Choice [/size]
A husband, one bright ... Jun 26 2006, 09:46 AM evade20
:puke: http://www.ratemymelons.com/chat/uploads/p... Jun 26 2006, 10:42 AM Bobaloo
Some bitches never learn! Jun 26 2006, 01:26 PM  evade20
Off with his head! Jun 26 2006, 03:02 PM evade20 http://www.ratemymelons.com/chat/uploads/post-1165... Jun 27 2006, 10:39 AM foxy lady Math Lesson
-------------------------------------... Jun 27 2006, 12:20 PM evade20
:roflmao: :roflmao: Jun 27 2006, 02:45 PM ndboxer
:lol: :lol: Jun 27 2006, 01:16 PM evade20 :)
A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and order... Jun 28 2006, 06:37 AM foxy lady
:roflmao: Jun 30 2006, 04:56 PM  evade20
A white missionary was spreading the gospel to t... Jul 10 2006, 12:30 PM   foxy lady
Now that's compromising for ya :lol: Jul 10 2006, 02:43 PM evade20 Canary Wharf,
An American walking through the str... Jul 10 2006, 03:43 PM evade20 Paradise:
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are ... Jul 11 2006, 12:59 PM morpheusone that's a funny one :P Jul 11 2006, 04:03 PM Christof Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily ... Jul 11 2006, 04:22 PM closeup8 A big burly biker walks into a bar and sits on an ... Jul 11 2006, 04:32 PM chelsey A company was looking to hire someone for an impor... Jul 12 2006, 02:20 PM evade20
:lol: Jul 12 2006, 03:40 PM  chelsey
so would ya turn'er or nail'er huh?
:r... Jul 13 2006, 02:36 PM   evade20
Ya mean I have to choose? I can't just tur... Jul 13 2006, 03:43 PM foxy lady
That's funny chelsey :roflmao: Jul 12 2006, 04:35 PM evade20 A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of... Jul 13 2006, 03:57 PM chelsey
:roflmao: :roflmao: Jul 13 2006, 04:27 PM evade20 Might be a repeat... :unsure: Jul 13 2006, 09:02 PM rdmoscow1808 Awoman went into a sports store to buy a fishing p... Jul 13 2006, 09:15 PM evade20
:puke: :roflmao: Jul 13 2006, 10:03 PM evade20 What, Is everyone out of jokes? :unsure: Jul 16 2006, 04:59 PM evade20 Three men are walking down the country lane one da... Jul 17 2006, 09:06 AM Bobaloo 10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO YOUR PREGNANT WIFE
10. No... Jul 17 2006, 11:21 AM  evade20
oooo And you just got married! Your treadi... Jul 17 2006, 12:29 PM evade20 A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cre... Jul 18 2006, 12:40 PM rdmoscow1808 n the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of wh... Jul 19 2006, 09:28 AM evade20
[size=14]?[/b]
Er, Dude....Perhaps this joke is ... Jul 24 2006, 01:24 PM closeup A man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. He too... Jul 23 2006, 10:17 PM bondiguy
WOW... that is lame :blink: Jul 27 2006, 08:35 AM foxy lady Sunday Morning Sex
I will never hear church bel... Jul 25 2006, 03:51 PM evade20 :blink: :P Jul 27 2006, 07:58 AM evade20 :unsure: Jul 27 2006, 01:14 PM damnyankee
Here is a blonde joke for yall: :roflmao:
A... Jul 27 2006, 08:50 PM  evade20
:lol: :lol: Cute. Jul 27 2006, 09:00 PM   damnyankee
Ok...heres another....nuns..
Two nuns are or... Jul 27 2006, 09:03 PM    evade20
:niceones: :niceones: Jul 27 2006, 09:06 PM     damnyankee
this vid is pretty funny...how NOT to dump you... Jul 27 2006, 09:08 PM      evade20
:ph34r: Nasty break up. :P Too bad the backg... Jul 28 2006, 12:49 PM  johnny wadd
Seems like this could actually happen. Jul 27 2006, 09:32 PM evade20 "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, ... Jul 31 2006, 12:52 PM damnyankee
good one. :2thumbsup: Aug 1 2006, 08:31 PM  evade20
http://www.ratemymelons.com/chat/uploads/post-151... Aug 1 2006, 09:13 PM evade20 http://www.ratemymelons.com/chat/uploads/post-1429... Aug 1 2006, 12:26 PM evade20 B)
A woman who plays cards once a month with a gr... Aug 2 2006, 12:27 PM belicked6924 After careful scrutiny, the administration of a lo... Aug 2 2006, 08:04 PM evade20
:lol: Aug 2 2006, 08:06 PM
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