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 Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?
| UncleBuck |
 Oct 20 2011, 07:29 PM
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D Cup
Group: Moderator
Posts: 2,287
Joined: 12-March 06
Member No.: 14,012
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QUOTE(evade20 @ Aug 24 2011, 08:48 PM) Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to choke. Hillbilly asks her,"kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly walks over,lifts up her dress, yanks down britches and licks her butt cheek. The woman has a violent spasm and spits out food. The hillbillies' buddy says "ya know,I heerd of that there hind lick maneuver but I aint niver seed nobody do it""  Now dat der's just plain funny !!!
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*100% of the shots you don't take don't go in.
Wayne Gretzky.
*Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*Egos are like dicks.
All men have one, but mine's bigger.
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| evade20 |
Feb 23 2012, 08:34 PM
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Melon Master
Group: Members
Posts: 18,580
Joined: 21-November 05
From: New York
Member No.: 11,658
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 The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. Pierre Elliott Trudeau |
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| evade20 |
Feb 23 2012, 09:04 PM
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Melon Master
Group: Members
Posts: 18,580
Joined: 21-November 05
From: New York
Member No.: 11,658
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The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. Pierre Elliott Trudeau
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| UncleBuck |
Feb 25 2012, 11:20 AM
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D Cup
Group: Moderator
Posts: 2,287
Joined: 12-March 06
Member No.: 14,012
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Sensitivity Test For Men
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you have both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don?t miss ESPN Sports Center.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play..
B. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever find out about.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you have just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she?s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.
7. You think today?s sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. I hope we can still be friends.
B. I?m not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.
C. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU.
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn?t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
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*100% of the shots you don't take don't go in.
Wayne Gretzky.
*Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*Egos are like dicks.
All men have one, but mine's bigger.
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| evade20 |
Feb 25 2012, 02:44 PM
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Melon Master
Group: Members
Posts: 18,580
Joined: 21-November 05
From: New York
Member No.: 11,658
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QUOTE(UncleBuck @ Feb 25 2012, 11:20 AM) Sensitivity Test For Men 1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as: A. Lovemaking. B. Screwing. C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town. 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you have both shared: A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. B. Your blood-test results. C. Five tequila slammers. 3. You time your orgasm so that: A. Your partner climaxes first. B. You both climax simultaneously. C. You don?t miss ESPN Sports Center. 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: A. Healthy, creative love-play.. B. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to. C. Not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever find out about. 5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you have just had sex with is: A. The best part of the experience. B. The second best part of the experience. C. $100 extra. 6. Your wife/girlfriend says she?s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is: A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her. B. Not a problem, she can join your gym. C. A conservative estimate. 7. You think today?s sensitive, caring man is: A. A myth. B. An oxymoron. C. A moron. 8. Foreplay is to sex as: A. An appetizer is to entree. B. Primer is to paint. C. A long line is to an amusement park ride. 9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship? A. I hope we can still be friends. B. I?m not in right now, please leave a message at the beep. C. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU. 10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy. B. Is uptight and a waste of time. C. Shouldn?t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place. What is a passing score? 
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The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. Pierre Elliott Trudeau
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Can't say I didn't warn you.... 
