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Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?

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misschickie	Dec 4 2007, 02:21 AM Post #451
MISCHIEF.MAYHEM.SOAP Group: Moderator Posts: 2,734 Joined: 17-March 07 From: Vancouver, British Columbia Member No.: 21,236	QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Dec 3 2007, 11:16 PM) no pockets, i've been free from my pants for much of this evening NICE...I hate it when I have to wrestle a man out of his pants -------------------- the only thing i'll ever ask of you...you gotta promise not to stop when i say when. do not try to outbitch this bitch...you will not win

DoubleJ	Dec 4 2007, 02:23 AM Post #452
B Cup Group: Members Posts: 205 Joined: 28-March 05 From: New Brunswick Member No.: 4,294	QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 4 2007, 02:21 AM) NICE...I hate it when I have to wrestle a man out of his pants I bet they usually cum easy for you though when you do (we must be the only two folks around tonight)

bondiguy	Dec 6 2007, 12:33 AM Post #453
I don't suffer FOOLS Group: Members Posts: 16,794 Joined: 2-May 05 From: Sydney, New South Wales Member No.: 7,542	QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 4 2007, 04:32 PM) Bondi and closeup... Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung? A: When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose. I had not heard that before... not bad at all! Ok I have two replies... Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A. A battery has a positive side. Q. Why did God create woman ? A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet. -------------------- Bondi Approved ™ I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.

misschickie	Dec 6 2007, 01:49 AM Post #454
MISCHIEF.MAYHEM.SOAP Group: Moderator Posts: 2,734 Joined: 17-March 07 From: Vancouver, British Columbia Member No.: 21,236	QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 5 2007, 09:33 PM) I had not heard that before... not bad at all! Ok I have two replies... Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A. A battery has a positive side. Q. Why did God create woman ? A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet. and Now, here is one Just for you, B Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one. -------------------- the only thing i'll ever ask of you...you gotta promise not to stop when i say when. do not try to outbitch this bitch...you will not win

misschickie	Dec 6 2007, 01:50 AM Post #455
MISCHIEF.MAYHEM.SOAP Group: Moderator Posts: 2,734 Joined: 17-March 07 From: Vancouver, British Columbia Member No.: 21,236	QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Dec 3 2007, 11:23 PM) I bet they usually cum easy for you though when you do (we must be the only two folks around tonight) Well, lets just see about that, shall we? (yes, we were...it was very cozy) -------------------- the only thing i'll ever ask of you...you gotta promise not to stop when i say when. do not try to outbitch this bitch...you will not win

bondiguy	Dec 6 2007, 02:05 AM Post #456
I don't suffer FOOLS Group: Members Posts: 16,794 Joined: 2-May 05 From: Sydney, New South Wales Member No.: 7,542	QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 6 2007, 04:49 PM) and Now, here is one Just for you, B Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Funny coz it's true! lol Q. What do you say to your wife when she is blocking your view of the TV? A. Why are you out of the kitchen? Q. What do you DO if your wife is blocking your view of the TV? A. Shorten her chain to the oven -------------------- Bondi Approved ™ I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.

DoubleJ	Dec 6 2007, 02:11 AM Post #457
B Cup Group: Members Posts: 205 Joined: 28-March 05 From: New Brunswick Member No.: 4,294	QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 6 2007, 01:50 AM) Well, lets just see about that, shall we? (yes, we were...it was very cozy) not near cozy enough if you ask me

misschickie	Dec 6 2007, 02:21 AM Post #458
MISCHIEF.MAYHEM.SOAP Group: Moderator Posts: 2,734 Joined: 17-March 07 From: Vancouver, British Columbia Member No.: 21,236	QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 5 2007, 11:05 PM) Funny coz it's true! lol Q. What do you say to your wife when she is blocking your view of the TV? A. Why are you out of the kitchen? Q. What do you DO if your wife is blocking your view of the TV? A. Shorten her chain to the oven lol...those are terrible!!! Q What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Dec 5 2007, 11:11 PM) not near cozy enough if you ask me i agree... -------------------- the only thing i'll ever ask of you...you gotta promise not to stop when i say when. do not try to outbitch this bitch...you will not win

bondiguy	Dec 6 2007, 06:21 AM Post #459
I don't suffer FOOLS Group: Members Posts: 16,794 Joined: 2-May 05 From: Sydney, New South Wales Member No.: 7,542	QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 6 2007, 05:21 PM) lol...those are terrible!!! Q What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. i agree... Q. How many men does it take to open a beer? A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it -------------------- Bondi Approved ™ I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.

Damor	Dec 6 2007, 07:58 AM Post #460
C Cup Group: Members Posts: 645 Joined: 28-March 05 Member No.: 4,691	QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 6 2007, 06:21 AM) Q. How many men does it take to open a beer? A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it Thats good! See if this one has been said before. Q. How do you know when your ugly? A. When the dog humps your leg with his eyes closed. --------------------

bondiguy	Dec 6 2007, 11:58 PM Post #461
I don't suffer FOOLS Group: Members Posts: 16,794 Joined: 2-May 05 From: Sydney, New South Wales Member No.: 7,542	QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 6 2007, 10:58 PM) Thats good! See if this one has been said before. Q. How do you know when your ugly? A. When the dog humps your leg with his eyes closed. Not bad... Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? A. Marry it -------------------- Bondi Approved ™ I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.

Damor	Dec 7 2007, 12:09 AM Post #462
C Cup Group: Members Posts: 645 Joined: 28-March 05 Member No.: 4,691	QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 6 2007, 11:58 PM) Not bad... Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? A. Marry it Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a row? A. A wind tunnel. --------------------

bondiguy	Dec 7 2007, 12:54 AM Post #463
I don't suffer FOOLS Group: Members Posts: 16,794 Joined: 2-May 05 From: Sydney, New South Wales Member No.: 7,542	QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 7 2007, 03:09 PM) Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a row? A. A wind tunnel. nice one -------------------- Bondi Approved ™ I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.

misschickie	Dec 8 2007, 02:12 PM Post #464
MISCHIEF.MAYHEM.SOAP Group: Moderator Posts: 2,734 Joined: 17-March 07 From: Vancouver, British Columbia Member No.: 21,236	QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 6 2007, 08:58 PM) Not bad... Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? A. Marry it oh very nice...lol QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 6 2007, 09:09 PM) Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a row? A. A wind tunnel. -------------------- the only thing i'll ever ask of you...you gotta promise not to stop when i say when. do not try to outbitch this bitch...you will not win

misschickie	Dec 8 2007, 02:13 PM Post #465
MISCHIEF.MAYHEM.SOAP Group: Moderator Posts: 2,734 Joined: 17-March 07 From: Vancouver, British Columbia Member No.: 21,236	QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 6 2007, 04:58 AM) Thats good! See if this one has been said before. Q. How do you know when your ugly? A. When the dog humps your leg with his eyes closed. -------------------- the only thing i'll ever ask of you...you gotta promise not to stop when i say when. do not try to outbitch this bitch...you will not win

UncleBuck	Dec 8 2007, 03:18 PM Post #466
D Cup Group: Moderator Posts: 2,465 Joined: 12-March 06 Member No.: 14,012	Q: How do you tell when a woman is going to say something smart? A: She starts her sentence .....A man once told me........ -------------------- 100% of the shots you don't take don't go in. Wayne Gretzky. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. *Egos are like dicks. All men have one, but mine's bigger.

misschickie	Dec 8 2007, 04:51 PM Post #467
MISCHIEF.MAYHEM.SOAP Group: Moderator Posts: 2,734 Joined: 17-March 07 From: Vancouver, British Columbia Member No.: 21,236	Man translations... When a man says: CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" He means: "Why isn't it already on the table?" -------------------- the only thing i'll ever ask of you...you gotta promise not to stop when i say when. do not try to outbitch this bitch...you will not win

Damor	Dec 10 2007, 12:41 AM Post #468
C Cup Group: Members Posts: 645 Joined: 28-March 05 Member No.: 4,691	QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 8 2007, 04:51 PM) Man translations... When a man says: CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" He means: "Why isn't it already on the table?" I got one.. Q. How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A. --------------------

bondiguy	Dec 10 2007, 12:43 AM Post #469
I don't suffer FOOLS Group: Members Posts: 16,794 Joined: 2-May 05 From: Sydney, New South Wales Member No.: 7,542	QUOTE(UncleBuck @ Dec 9 2007, 06:18 AM) Q: How do you tell when a woman is going to say something smart? A: She starts her sentence .....A man once told me........ Beautiful... I love it! QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 10 2007, 03:41 PM) I got one.. Q. How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A. Tell me the answer dammit! -------------------- Bondi Approved ™ I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.

UncleBuck	Dec 11 2007, 03:16 PM Post #470
D Cup Group: Moderator Posts: 2,465 Joined: 12-March 06 Member No.: 14,012	> >>Subject: Diplomatic > >>A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of > >>lettuce. > >>The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole > >>heads of lettuce. > >> > >>The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask > >>his manager about it. > >> > >>Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some > >>asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his > >>sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he > >>added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other > >>half." > >> > >>The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. > >> > >>Later the manager said to the boy, "I was >impressed with the way > >>you > >>got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think > >>on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" > >> > >>"Canada, sir," the boy replied. > >> > >>"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. > >> > >>The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up > >>there." > >> > >>"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada." > >> > >>"No shit?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?" > > -------------------- 100% of the shots you don't take don't go in. Wayne Gretzky. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. *Egos are like dicks. All men have one, but mine's bigger.

closeup	Dec 18 2007, 05:31 PM Post #471
Double D's Group: Members Posts: 4,813 Joined: 12-July 05 From: Portland, Maine Member No.: 9,341	Did you hear about the flasher who was gonna retire? He decided to stick it out for another year.

bondiguy	Dec 18 2007, 11:11 PM Post #472
I don't suffer FOOLS Group: Members Posts: 16,794 Joined: 2-May 05 From: Sydney, New South Wales Member No.: 7,542	QUOTE(closeup @ Dec 19 2007, 08:31 AM) Did you hear about the flasher who was gonna retire? He decided to stick it out for another year. lol that joke sounds like it should have a multitude of sound effects after it and then roll to a song -------------------- Bondi Approved ™ I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.

aimee2	Dec 24 2007, 03:10 AM Post #473
B Cup Group: Members Posts: 143 Joined: 3-April 07 From: Wisconsin Member No.: 21,497	Q. Why do hookers make more money than drug dealers? A. Hookers can wash the crack and resell it.

UncleBuck	Dec 28 2007, 12:03 PM Post #474
D Cup Group: Moderator Posts: 2,465 Joined: 12-March 06 Member No.: 14,012	QUOTE(aimee2 @ Dec 24 2007, 01:10 AM) Q. Why do hookers make more money than drug dealers? A. Hookers can wash the crack and resell it. -------------------- 100% of the shots you don't take don't go in. Wayne Gretzky. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. *Egos are like dicks. All men have one, but mine's bigger.

evade20	Dec 28 2007, 12:43 PM Post #475
Melon Master Group: Members Posts: 21,880 Joined: 21-November 05 From: New York Member No.: 11,658	QUOTE(aimee2 @ Dec 24 2007, 03:10 AM) Q. Why do hookers make more money than drug dealers? A. Hookers can wash the crack and resell it. -------------------- "The single most important component of a camera is the twelve inches behind it." Ansel Adams The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. Pierre Elliott Trudeau

ddd35	Jan 3 2008, 01:54 PM Post #476
Melon Master Group: Members Posts: 28,815 Joined: 7-April 06 From: Peoria, Illinois Member No.: 14,606	QUOTE(aimee2 @ Dec 24 2007, 01:10 AM) Q. Why do hookers make more money than drug dealers? A. Hookers can wash the crack and resell it.

closeup	Jan 3 2008, 11:08 PM Post #477
Double D's Group: Members Posts: 4,813 Joined: 12-July 05 From: Portland, Maine Member No.: 9,341	A classic: Attached thumbnail(s)

evade20	Jan 4 2008, 05:06 AM Post #478
Melon Master Group: Members Posts: 21,880 Joined: 21-November 05 From: New York Member No.: 11,658	QUOTE(closeup @ Jan 3 2008, 11:08 PM) A classic: Damn, Cut that dude off! -------------------- "The single most important component of a camera is the twelve inches behind it." Ansel Adams The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. Pierre Elliott Trudeau

closeup	Feb 15 2008, 04:19 PM Post #479
Double D's Group: Members Posts: 4,813 Joined: 12-July 05 From: Portland, Maine Member No.: 9,341	Check this out: Attached image(s)

evade20	Feb 15 2008, 10:48 PM Post #480
Melon Master Group: Members Posts: 21,880 Joined: 21-November 05 From: New York Member No.: 11,658	QUOTE(closeup @ Feb 15 2008, 04:19 PM) Check this out: It reminds me of your former sig. pic that seems to have disappeared.... -------------------- "The single most important component of a camera is the twelve inches behind it." Ansel Adams The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. Pierre Elliott Trudeau

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