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> Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?

misschickie
post Dec 4 2007, 02:21 AM
Post #451


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QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Dec 3 2007, 11:16 PM)
no pockets, i've been free from my pants for much of this evening
*



NICE...I hate it when I have to wrestle a man out of his pants
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DoubleJ
post Dec 4 2007, 02:23 AM
Post #452


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QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 4 2007, 02:21 AM)
NICE...I hate it when I have to wrestle a man out of his pants
*


I bet they usually cum easy for you though when you do

(we must be the only two folks around tonight)
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bondiguy
post Dec 6 2007, 12:33 AM
Post #453


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QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 4 2007, 04:32 PM)
Bondi and closeup... :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?

A: When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
*



:lol: I had not heard that before... not bad at all!

Ok I have two replies...

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. Why did God create woman ?
A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
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misschickie
post Dec 6 2007, 01:49 AM
Post #454


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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 5 2007, 09:33 PM)
:lol: I had not heard that before... not bad at all!

Ok I have two replies...

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. Why did God create woman ?
A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
*



:lol: and :lol:

Now, here is one Just for you, B

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?

A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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misschickie
post Dec 6 2007, 01:50 AM
Post #455


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QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Dec 3 2007, 11:23 PM)
I bet they usually cum easy for you though when you do

(we must be the only two folks around tonight)
*



Well, lets just see about that, shall we?

(yes, we were...it was very cozy)
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bondiguy
post Dec 6 2007, 02:05 AM
Post #456


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QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 6 2007, 04:49 PM)
:lol: and :lol:

Now, here is one Just for you, B

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?

A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
*



Funny coz it's true! lol

Q. What do you say to your wife when she is blocking your view of the TV?
A. Why are you out of the kitchen?

Q. What do you DO if your wife is blocking your view of the TV?
A. Shorten her chain to the oven
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DoubleJ
post Dec 6 2007, 02:11 AM
Post #457


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QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 6 2007, 01:50 AM)
Well, lets just see about that, shall we?

(yes, we were...it was very cozy)
*



not near cozy enough if you ask me
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misschickie
post Dec 6 2007, 02:21 AM
Post #458


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:kisses:
QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 5 2007, 11:05 PM)
Funny coz it's true! lol

Q. What do you say to your wife when she is blocking your view of the TV?
A. Why are you out of the kitchen?

Q. What do you DO if your wife is blocking your view of the TV?
A. Shorten her chain to the oven
*



lol...those are terrible!!!

Q What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.



QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Dec 5 2007, 11:11 PM)
not near cozy enough if you ask me
*



i agree...
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bondiguy
post Dec 6 2007, 06:21 AM
Post #459


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QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 6 2007, 05:21 PM)
:kisses:

lol...those are terrible!!!

Q What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling  your name?

A You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
i agree...
*



<_<

Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it
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Damor
post Dec 6 2007, 07:58 AM
Post #460


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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 6 2007, 06:21 AM)
<_<

Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it
*


Thats good!

See if this one has been said before.

Q. How do you know when your ugly?

A. When the dog humps your leg with his eyes closed.
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bondiguy
post Dec 6 2007, 11:58 PM
Post #461


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QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 6 2007, 10:58 PM)
Thats good!

See if this one has been said before.

Q. How do you know when your ugly?

A. When the dog humps your leg with his eyes closed.
*



Not bad...

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it
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Damor
post Dec 7 2007, 12:09 AM
Post #462


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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 6 2007, 11:58 PM)
Not bad...

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it
*


Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a row?

A. A wind tunnel.
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bondiguy
post Dec 7 2007, 12:54 AM
Post #463


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QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 7 2007, 03:09 PM)
Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a row?

A. A wind tunnel.
*



:lol: nice one
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misschickie
post Dec 8 2007, 02:12 PM
Post #464


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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Dec 6 2007, 08:58 PM)
Not bad...

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it
*



oh very nice...lol

QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 6 2007, 09:09 PM)
Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a row?

A. A wind tunnel.
*



:lol:
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misschickie
post Dec 8 2007, 02:13 PM
Post #465


Unregistered
QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 6 2007, 04:58 AM)
Thats good!

See if this one has been said before.

Q. How do you know when your ugly?

A. When the dog humps your leg with his eyes closed.
*



:lol: :lol: :lol:
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UncleBuck
post Dec 8 2007, 03:18 PM
Post #466


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Q: How do you tell when a woman is going to say something smart?

A: She starts her sentence .....A man once told me........
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misschickie
post Dec 8 2007, 04:51 PM
Post #467


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Man translations...

When a man says: CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

He means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
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Damor
post Dec 10 2007, 12:41 AM
Post #468


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QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 8 2007, 04:51 PM)
Man translations...

When a man says: CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

He means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
*


I got one..

Q. How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A.
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bondiguy
post Dec 10 2007, 12:43 AM
Post #469


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QUOTE(UncleBuck @ Dec 9 2007, 06:18 AM)
Q:  How do you tell when a woman is going to say something smart?

A:  She starts her sentence  .....A man once told me........
*



Beautiful... I love it!

QUOTE(Damor @ Dec 10 2007, 03:41 PM)
I got one..

Q. How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A.
*



Tell me the answer dammit! :P
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UncleBuck
post Dec 11 2007, 03:16 PM
Post #470


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> >>Subject: Diplomatic
> >>A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of
> >>lettuce.
> >>The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole

> >>heads of lettuce.
> >>
> >>The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask

> >>his manager about it.
> >>
> >>Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some
> >>asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his
> >>sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he

> >>added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other
> >>half."
> >>
> >>The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
> >>
> >>Later the manager said to the boy, "I was
>impressed with the way
> >>you
> >>got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think

> >>on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
> >>
> >>"Canada, sir," the boy replied.
> >>
> >>"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.
> >>
> >>The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up

> >>there."
> >>
> >>"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."
> >>
> >>"No shit?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
> >
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closeup
post Dec 18 2007, 05:31 PM
Post #471


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Did you hear about the flasher who was gonna retire?


He decided to stick it out for another year.
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bondiguy
post Dec 18 2007, 11:11 PM
Post #472


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QUOTE(closeup @ Dec 19 2007, 08:31 AM)
Did you hear about the flasher who was gonna retire?
He decided to stick it out for another year.
*



lol that joke sounds like it should have a multitude of sound effects after it and then roll to a song
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aimee2
post Dec 24 2007, 03:10 AM
Post #473


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Q. Why do hookers make more money than drug dealers?






A. Hookers can wash the crack and resell it.
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UncleBuck
post Dec 28 2007, 12:03 PM
Post #474


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QUOTE(aimee2 @ Dec 24 2007, 01:10 AM)
Q. Why do hookers make more money than drug dealers?
A. Hookers can wash the crack and resell it.
*






:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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evade20
post Dec 28 2007, 12:43 PM
Post #475


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QUOTE(aimee2 @ Dec 24 2007, 03:10 AM)
Q. Why do hookers make more money than drug dealers?
A. Hookers can wash the crack and resell it.
*




:lol: :lol:
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ddd35
post Jan 3 2008, 01:54 PM
Post #476


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QUOTE(aimee2 @ Dec 24 2007, 01:10 AM)
Q. Why do hookers make more money than drug dealers?
A. Hookers can wash the crack and resell it.
*




:roflmao:
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closeup
post Jan 3 2008, 11:08 PM
Post #477


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A classic:

Attached thumbnail(s)
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evade20
post Jan 4 2008, 05:06 AM
Post #478


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QUOTE(closeup @ Jan 3 2008, 11:08 PM)
A classic:
*




Damn, Cut that dude off! :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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closeup
post Feb 15 2008, 04:19 PM
Post #479


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Check this out:

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evade20
post Feb 15 2008, 10:48 PM
Post #480


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QUOTE(closeup @ Feb 15 2008, 04:19 PM)
Check this out:
*




It reminds me of your former sig. pic that seems to have disappeared.... :lol:
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