Figured it was high time I started my 411, if I'm gonna get abuse on this board may as well give it a focal point

I've been on RMM on and off for a couple of years, until recently only checking the front page every couple of months ot so but I found the message board and got hooked.

Not a lot to tell really, I work on an IT helpdesk even though most of the geeks that phone up know WAY more about computers than I do, I guess I'm just better at making stuff up and convincing people I know what I'm talking about

I've just started a band, been playing bass for about 5 years now and looking upto Billy Sheehan as one of my idols. We will be playing mostly metal and classic rock, anything from Pantera and Rage against the machine to Led Zepplin and Deep purple. Musically I tend to like anything that isnt in the top40 Rock, Metal, Rap, old school Hip Hop, Gabba Techno.....

Urm... running out of stuff to say now, have a very warped sense of humour that most people dont get, which just makes me laugh even harder. Oh and Family guy is better than the Simpsons!

Mine was similar, but he definately took a lot more time. I just used can holders instead of painting beer can. Throughout the night, i would just drink the beer I had as part of my custume. I had more cans of beer in the car, so when we switched bars, I would reload. I used a premade superman costume and cut the heck out of it to make it work. it had a molded chestpiece so I looked totally buff like duffman. I taped the duffman logo over the superman symbol. taped it to the front of a baseball cap. It was basically a cheap way to make it with very little effort, but it looked awesome. The boots were red like superman's, but nobody gave a shit or noticed.

Here's how I won the contest... which I think is a cool story.. actually, I got second. I forgot who got first, but it was awesome.

We had a chance to walk across the stage to show off our costume. Well, when I did, I took one of my empty beer cans out of my holster. I pretened to open it, then pretended to chug it for a few seconds. I then held it up from the bottom of the can in my one hand and proceeded to smash it against the side of my head. Well, right before I hit my head with it, I crushed it in my hand first. And by hitting it into the thick part of my hat, I barely felt a thing.

The whole bar went crazy and I was the man for that moment. Correction... I was the Duff Man.

and therein lies the story of my duff man halloween and how I got second place for a profit of $250 or something like that.

bondi would have chastized you for such an obvious error

I doubt I'll be doing anything cool for halloween but that duffman costume would be awesome if I do. We have a wedding to go to soon, maybe I could wear it there.

You'll have to dress it up a bit if you want to wear it to a wedding. Something like this might work.

Attached image(s)

good thinking! I wouldnt want to be underdressed for the occasion.

What are we to believe? It was some sort of magical pair of boots? I really hope someone got fired over that one!

I had to google that obscure one.

Let me ask you a question. why would a man whose shirts reads genius at work spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon?

Gnappy I still like to throw in a really obsuce one occasionaly!



ummm, I errr, I withdraw my question

Sorry Christof but that own goal in your 2-0 loss to Croatia was laughable!

I know on paper the whole team are awesome and should be at least in top 5 football teams in the world. But. Judging on the last 2 games we should be in the bottom 5

Dont worry, it is just post World Cup Blues... look at Italy?

The Keeper got a wicked bounce but watching it live I could not believe it!!!

I hope the Poms bounce back. They are my second team of choice as I have English background

Yeah good point, and France, they were beaten by scotland last weekend, I've managed to miss the goal, not sure how really but i decided it was probably best

If you have one masochistic bone in your body you have to check it out

I checked and it smells great in here, seriously, like pine trees

Maybe pine trees that were pissed on.



which reminds me of a joke I read in this great little book titled Excrutiatingly Gross Jokes

What's the best way to prevent forest fires?

piss on a tree.

Then call me Smokey the Bear!

Hmm not that gross. One of my faves is:

A tramp walks into a bar and asks the barman for a toothpick. The barman thinks this is a bit weird but gives the tramp a toothpick and he leaves.

About 10 minutes later and another tramp walks into the bar and asks the barman for a toothpick. The barman gives him a toothpick and he leaves.

About 10 minutes later another tramp walks in and walks upto the bar. The barman seeing him walk in walks over to him with a toothpick and hands it over to the tramp. The tramp says 'no thanks can I have a straw please?' The barman now completely confused asks the tramp 'whats going on? I've just had 2 tramps walk in here and ask for a toothpick so how come youve now walked in and asked for a straw?' The tramp replies 'Oh nothing, someone had been sick outside and all the good bits have gone'

thats really stupid I hope you didnt pay alot for that book ...

the book was a gift from a friend when i was in grade school. and I never claimed that it was a good joke. It was just a joke from the book. here's another one i remember...

How is Madonna like a tampon?

they're both stuck-up cunts.

and another...

what;s the difference between driving and getting a blow job??

You can only hold one beer when you're driving.

The funny cuz it's true category

If I was sombody that cared id point out that makes no sense ,, but since I dont and I cant I wont ...

LOL

What do you call a dog with no back legs and brass bollocks?


Sparky

It doesn't make sense cuz you're looking at it from the wrong point of view.

now imagine you receiving the blow job and not giving it and it should make a lot more sense.

Good one

and a dog with no legs you should call cigarette... cuz you take him outside for a drag.

okay. I know that was dumb, but I have a headache.

Im stealing that one... GOLD!!!!



That is where he lets himself down... he is always the giver

shameless post with no real point other than im soooo close to 500 and its taken me forwever to get this far. While im posting just watching leprechaun 4, why is it all these crap horror franchises end up in space, always a let down

ahhhh I remember my first 500.... what a magical 4 days that was!

Well I had planned to save my 500th post for somewhere special, but there have been so many awesome posts lately that I couldnt choose between all the lovely ladies threads here to post in. So, I figured I would post here and thank all the gals who have been posting recently for the excellent pics they have been supplying.