I could be wrong but isn't when Homer starts writing fortunes for fortune cookies and Mr Burns searches for love on Flag Day after receiving the afformentioned fortune?

something like that.

Bo, I'm sorry for using such holy ground to aid my perverted male humor. sometimes my id takes control.

I think the only way to keep me on track would be to post a pic of you orgasming while masturbating in my 411... (conveniently linked here). AFter all, it is a very wise and sexy woman who said...masturbation is only a sin when there's no one around to take the pics!

blame the id....I gotta remember that!

my thought for the day...

bo... if that's a sin, i'm more than willing to hear your confession. and i'm fairly sure you screaming "oh god, oh god" counts :banana2:

I am pretty certain it is... he falls in love with Snakes girlfriend

George Carlin

******************

ABSolutely

Brilliant



George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50

and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!


HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

that funny bastard came up with some wise words...especially since I will be "turning 30" in a few months :o

WOW

you read all that? :blink:

Carlin For President

wouldnt that be funny...couldnt be any worse than what they have now...he actaully might be good

He skimmed it. Best to wait for the movie. :drama:

I'm not reading all that! brevity, cloesup, brevity.

I downlaoded it from an illegal site last night... and burnt it to DVD, selling at the local markets to school kids for $5 a pop

that's the same price closeup's mother charges for a blow job.

by the way, you're better off buying bondi's DVD.

hahahaha, great toll booth willy reference :roflmao:

I knew it was from something, I just couldn't remember what. I could imagine the voice and everything, I just couldn't place it. thanks for the help. :thumbup:

Driver5: Hello Willy, good to see you.
Toll Booth Willy: Ahhh Bishop Nelson, nice to see ya. That was quite a sermon you had the other day.
Driver5: Well, I do my best.
Toll Booth Willy: Dawla twenty five, Bishop.
Driver5: Dollar twenty five Willy...isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job you piece of dog shit?
Toll Booth Willy: OOOOHHHH HAVE ANOTHER ONE YOU FUCKIN LUSH! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE BARTENDER CUT YOU OFF LAST NIGHT YOU FUCKING DOUCHE BAG!

funny funny funny stuff....funny :roflmao:

Douche bag... it's like the word of the week. It's popping up everywhere.

Sounds like you're quite the expert on five dollar blowjobs. Your only problem is you GIVE them for five dollars, but then pay ten to RECEIVE one. If you followed Gnappy's business plan of buy low/sell high, you'll last a lot longer and your kness won't be so sore at the end of the day.

:blahblah: :blahblah: :blahblah: :blahblah:

hows this for a thought for the day :nahnah:

Fridays & Chelsey were both made for flashing. Way to display the goods, makes me want to squeeze them. :P

See, I'm not the fool after all. B)

Experience is the best teacher. Bob will eventually figure it out after he wears out a few pair of knee pads.

Chelsey, that's hot. You've got some lovely assets that have quite the power to turn a thread around.

TGIC!

cuz in here, every day is Chelseyday

BAM!



Nice Burn back :thumbup: :lol:

thanks!

Eh, it was all right.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

:kisses: