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Thought Or Saying For The Day
UncleBuck |
Aug 29 2006, 03:21 PM
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D Cup
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This might work as a good thread. Best words of wisdom you have heard or a quote that you like or just something that strikes you as a good thought... be it funny or sad or something that just makes you think about things Importance of Women1 It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans & has a job. 2 It's important have a woman who can make you laugh. 3 It's important to have a woman who you can trust and doesn't lie. 4 It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you. 5 It's very, very important that these four bitches don't know each other.
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*100% of the shots you don't take don't go in. Wayne Gretzky.
*Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*Egos are like dicks. All men have one, but mine's bigger.
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Replies
UncleBuck |
Sep 20 2006, 02:04 PM
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D Cup
Group: Moderator
Posts: 2,465
Joined: 12-March 06
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George Carlin
******************
ABSolutely
Brilliant
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50
and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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*100% of the shots you don't take don't go in. Wayne Gretzky.
*Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*Egos are like dicks. All men have one, but mine's bigger.
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Gnappster |
Sep 20 2006, 05:02 PM
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Liquor and Whores
Group: Members
Posts: 11,440
Joined: 28-March 05
From: Regina, Saskatchewan
Member No.: 2,922
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QUOTE(UncleBuck @ Sep 20 2006, 12:04 PM) George Carlin
******************
ABSolutely
Brilliant George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50
and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. that funny bastard came up with some wise words...especially since I will be "turning 30" in a few months
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Thinking about starting a new thread??? Watch THIS first!
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UncleBuck |
Sep 21 2006, 10:18 AM
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D Cup
Group: Moderator
Posts: 2,465
Joined: 12-March 06
Member No.: 14,012
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QUOTE(Gnappster @ Sep 20 2006, 05:02 PM) that funny bastard came up with some wise words...especially since I will be "turning 30" in a few months Carlin For President wouldnt that be funny...couldnt be any worse than what they have now...he actaully might be good
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*100% of the shots you don't take don't go in. Wayne Gretzky.
*Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*Egos are like dicks. All men have one, but mine's bigger.
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Posts in this topic
UncleBuck Thought Or Saying For The Day Aug 29 2006, 03:21 PM Bobaloo
Hmm words of wisdom. here's a little ditty I... Aug 29 2006, 03:38 PM UncleBuck bob my friend with a small penis......I searched b... Aug 29 2006, 04:36 PM Gnappster
Todd: Got him, Dad! Aug 29 2006, 05:13 PM Bobaloo
UB, I'm sorry. you asked for tidbits and I p... Aug 29 2006, 06:30 PM Gnappster
wow she must be a midget then...little person...... Aug 29 2006, 06:42 PM UncleBuck
HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, LAUGHS.....LOUDEST
:rofl... Aug 29 2006, 06:57 PM hott1976 my thought of today:
You really like me.... you... Aug 29 2006, 05:14 PM boanna
my thoughts exactally! :wub: Sep 10 2006, 02:59 AM Gnappster Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then ... Aug 29 2006, 06:35 PM Gnappster If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn... Aug 29 2006, 06:37 PM bondiguy If it brown flush it down, if it's yellow let ... Aug 30 2006, 02:40 AM jrock8 here are a couple of the experts and their advice.... Aug 30 2006, 12:29 PM Bobaloo Do you know what you get when you cross a pit-bull... Aug 30 2006, 12:53 PM UncleBuck
That is actauly Megafunny Aug 30 2006, 12:55 PM Lynette [color=purple]"There is nothing to fear, but ... Aug 30 2006, 02:55 PM COMEDYMAN " The answer is ALWAYS NO..... until you ask.... Aug 30 2006, 07:54 PM UncleBuck
no means maybe, pour me another tequila Aug 30 2006, 08:08 PM bondiguy
Jesus CM that sounds like the dribble they force... Aug 31 2006, 01:28 AM jrock8
gym?... what's a gym?... OH... a gym :lol: Aug 31 2006, 10:43 AM Gnappster
Homer: Oh Marge, how could you let me let myself ... Aug 31 2006, 11:51 AM jrock8
...and then you got someone that doesn't hav... Aug 31 2006, 01:01 PM Gnappster
beer gut???
I'll have you know it... Aug 31 2006, 01:13 PM closeup Remember; The first step in failing is trying. The... Aug 31 2006, 05:51 PM evade20
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in a... Aug 31 2006, 06:11 PM closeup
I haven't forgotten. Those aren't exactly... Aug 31 2006, 08:53 PM ddd35 this was always me my favorite
FUCK YOU , YOU F... Aug 31 2006, 06:54 PM bondiguy
Haha that is one of my fav simpsons quotes. I al... Sep 1 2006, 12:35 AM ddd35 a classic
THIS TO SHALL PASS>>>>... Sep 1 2006, 01:34 PM jrock8
this too even :blink: Sep 1 2006, 04:31 PM UncleBuck The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone ge... Sep 1 2006, 02:49 PM UncleBuck If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? Sep 1 2006, 02:51 PM bondiguy If you want something in life, you've gotta wo... Sep 1 2006, 05:49 PM Bobaloo
I just watched that one last night.
It was funny... Sep 6 2006, 09:46 PM Bobaloo Making love is what your girlfriend does while I... Sep 6 2006, 09:47 PM Gnappster
spotted :thumbup:
and I am so Krunchy the Klow... Sep 6 2006, 10:13 PM UncleBuck A friend is someone who will help you move. A real... Sep 2 2006, 02:28 PM ddd35 A friend in need is a friend indeed ,,,, Sep 4 2006, 10:36 AM bondiguy
A friend with weed is better Sep 6 2006, 01:56 AM Gnappster
A friend with breasts and all the rest Sep 6 2006, 11:41 AM jlynn Any Chappelle's Show fans?
"Hey hey hey... Sep 5 2006, 06:46 PM jrock8
combining those two...
where is wildncrazy a... Sep 6 2006, 01:20 PM Lynette [color=purple]Suck a tit...Save a thumb.[/b] Sep 6 2006, 01:30 PM ddd35
I think Big and Rich are working on a song with t... Sep 6 2006, 01:58 PM fellatiofiend18 "fuck me or fuck off... cus i aint in no kind... Sep 6 2006, 11:32 PM bondiguy
A friend whos dressed in leather Sep 7 2006, 12:53 AM Gnappster
my japanese is better,
and when she's presse... Sep 7 2006, 11:56 AM jrock8
big surprise here... bondi and gnappy both kn... Sep 7 2006, 03:00 PM Gnappster
the song is by placebo, not butthole surfers(unl... Sep 7 2006, 03:18 PM jrock8
http://www.sinteticor.com/artist_b/butthol...eed_... Sep 7 2006, 03:20 PM Gnappster
Well I know sinteticor is a very reliable site ... Sep 7 2006, 03:27 PM closeup "They're three types of people in the wor... Sep 7 2006, 03:15 PM closeup I can see this is gonna tie you two up for a while... Sep 7 2006, 03:23 PM jrock8
nah, i'm done w/it...
but i'm sure gnap... Sep 7 2006, 03:27 PM Gnappster
Maybe by gunpoint. But that's how closeup ge... Sep 7 2006, 03:34 PM Bobaloo
oh, nevermind. I had something good to say, but ... Sep 7 2006, 05:00 PM jrock8
bondi might... but i'm guessing you'd pr... Sep 7 2006, 05:10 PM Gnappster
i think you're confusing banality with your ... Sep 7 2006, 05:12 PM jrock8
nah, she definitely likes to keep things fresh a... Sep 7 2006, 05:18 PM Bobaloo
She probably just says that to avoid having sex w... Sep 7 2006, 05:38 PM Gnappster
it's a staple of my diet. Sep 7 2006, 05:11 PM boanna
no heart attacks, but u did tie the knot (around ... Sep 12 2006, 04:43 PM Gnappster
:fuckoff:
pulling one out of the archives Sep 7 2006, 05:53 PM Bobaloo
Check and Mate Sep 7 2006, 06:28 PM bondiguy
Yeah but doesn't it suck when you fuck up a ... Sep 7 2006, 11:19 PM Bobaloo
especially when that fuckup is rather incriminati... Sep 8 2006, 11:52 AM jrock8
hey... i googled it... are you telling me that n... Sep 8 2006, 12:29 PM Bobaloo
that's crazy talk. Porn online. Whatever. ... Sep 8 2006, 12:40 PM boanna
:o :whipya: :whipya:
THATS IT BOB! I... Sep 12 2006, 05:00 PM Gnappster
I can't believe bob would say such a thing... Sep 12 2006, 05:05 PM boanna
done.
:ph34r: Sep 12 2006, 05:19 PM Bobaloo
Bo, I'm sorry for using such holy ground to a... Sep 13 2006, 12:41 PM Gnappster
blame the id....I gotta remember that! Sep 13 2006, 12:47 PM Gnappster
I thought that too, but your wife proved to me t... Sep 8 2006, 01:19 PM Bobaloo
Nah, she probably just faked it like she does for... Sep 8 2006, 02:03 PM bondiguy
yeah... the butthole surfers??? :blink:
Well... Sep 8 2006, 05:35 PM UncleBuck
Jackie Chan was born in Hong Kong, China (present... Sep 8 2006, 09:00 PM bondiguy Yeah Buck I can use google too :P
I read all tha... Sep 8 2006, 09:40 PM UncleBuck
I found nothing where it says he became a citiz... Sep 9 2006, 03:38 PM fellatiofiend18 snoreeeee!!!!
hehe Sep 10 2006, 04:02 AM bondiguy
You fooled no one :P Sep 11 2006, 03:06 AM jrock8 "you will find true love on flag day" Sep 11 2006, 11:43 PM Gnappster
oooh, that one's good!
all I could come ... Sep 12 2006, 09:25 AM boanna
what the hell does that mean. i just dont get it... Sep 12 2006, 04:38 PM Gnappster
me niether :crazydude:
but how bout:
"You... Sep 12 2006, 04:55 PM boanna
now that makes more sense, cause some of those so... Sep 12 2006, 05:02 PM closeup
Have you been buying your Chinese fortune cookies... Sep 12 2006, 05:20 PM boanna
someone better throw a boobie pic in here cause... Sep 12 2006, 05:42 PM closeup "You can fool all of the people some of the t... Sep 12 2006, 02:37 PM boanna anyway....now that i've calmed down, i just ca... Sep 12 2006, 05:05 PM Gnappster
I was gonna steal it and use it for my own, but ... Sep 12 2006, 05:53 PM boanna
:kisses: Sep 12 2006, 05:58 PM jrock8
my thought for the day...
bo... if that's a... Sep 13 2006, 03:38 PM bondiguy
I could be wrong but isn't when Homer starts... Sep 13 2006, 03:47 AM Gnappster
something like that. Sep 13 2006, 10:02 AM bondiguy
I am pretty certain it is... he falls in love wi... Sep 14 2006, 04:51 AM bondiguy
WOW
you read all that? :blink: Sep 20 2006, 09:19 PM
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