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Thought Or Saying For The Day
jrock8 |
Sep 13 2006, 03:38 PM
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Board Whore Emeritus
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From: Chicago, Illinois
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QUOTE(boanna @ Sep 12 2006, 04:05 PM) anyway....now that i've calmed down, i just came in here to leave my thought for the day...which, by the way, might just be my next signature...so dont anyone steal it! u know, how i'm all consumed with the whole masturbation thing..... this one almost tops "masturbation is not a crime" masturbation is only a sin when there's no one around to take the pics! i dont know. maybe u had to be there. my thought for the day... bo... if that's a sin, i'm more than willing to hear your confession. and i'm fairly sure you screaming "oh god, oh god" counts
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Just once I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.
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UncleBuck |
Sep 20 2006, 02:04 PM
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D Cup
Group: Moderator
Posts: 2,465
Joined: 12-March 06
Member No.: 14,012
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George Carlin
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ABSolutely
Brilliant
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50
and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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*100% of the shots you don't take don't go in. Wayne Gretzky.
*Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*Egos are like dicks. All men have one, but mine's bigger.
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Gnappster |
Sep 20 2006, 05:02 PM
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Liquor and Whores
Group: Members
Posts: 11,440
Joined: 28-March 05
From: Regina, Saskatchewan
Member No.: 2,922
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QUOTE(UncleBuck @ Sep 20 2006, 12:04 PM) George Carlin
******************
ABSolutely
Brilliant George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50
and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. that funny bastard came up with some wise words...especially since I will be "turning 30" in a few months
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Thinking about starting a new thread??? Watch THIS first!
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UncleBuck |
Sep 21 2006, 10:18 AM
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D Cup
Group: Moderator
Posts: 2,465
Joined: 12-March 06
Member No.: 14,012
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QUOTE(Gnappster @ Sep 20 2006, 05:02 PM) that funny bastard came up with some wise words...especially since I will be "turning 30" in a few months Carlin For President wouldnt that be funny...couldnt be any worse than what they have now...he actaully might be good
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*100% of the shots you don't take don't go in. Wayne Gretzky.
*Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*Egos are like dicks. All men have one, but mine's bigger.
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bondiguy |
Sep 22 2006, 12:16 AM
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I don't suffer FOOLS
Group: Members
Posts: 16,794
Joined: 2-May 05
From: Sydney, New South Wales
Member No.: 7,542
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QUOTE(closeup @ Sep 21 2006, 10:27 AM) He skimmed it. Best to wait for the movie. I downlaoded it from an illegal site last night... and burnt it to DVD, selling at the local markets to school kids for $5 a pop
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Bondi Approved I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.
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Gnappster |
Sep 22 2006, 11:42 AM
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Liquor and Whores
Group: Members
Posts: 11,440
Joined: 28-March 05
From: Regina, Saskatchewan
Member No.: 2,922
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QUOTE(Bobaloo @ Sep 22 2006, 09:29 AM) I knew it was from something, I just couldn't remember what. I could imagine the voice and everything, I just couldn't place it. thanks for the help. Driver5: Hello Willy, good to see you. Toll Booth Willy: Ahhh Bishop Nelson, nice to see ya. That was quite a sermon you had the other day. Driver5: Well, I do my best. Toll Booth Willy: Dawla twenty five, Bishop. Driver5: Dollar twenty five Willy...isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job you piece of dog shit? Toll Booth Willy: OOOOHHHH HAVE ANOTHER ONE YOU FUCKIN LUSH! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE BARTENDER CUT YOU OFF LAST NIGHT YOU FUCKING DOUCHE BAG! funny funny funny stuff....funny
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Thinking about starting a new thread??? Watch THIS first!
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Bobaloo |
Sep 22 2006, 11:55 AM
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--o00o--O(_)O--o00o--
Group: Members
Posts: 7,337
Joined: 22-November 05
From: Chicago, Illinois
Member No.: 11,695
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QUOTE(Gnappster @ Sep 22 2006, 11:42 AM) Driver5: Hello Willy, good to see you. Toll Booth Willy: Ahhh Bishop Nelson, nice to see ya. That was quite a sermon you had the other day. Driver5: Well, I do my best. Toll Booth Willy: Dawla twenty five, Bishop. Driver5: Dollar twenty five Willy...isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job you piece of dog shit? Toll Booth Willy: OOOOHHHH HAVE ANOTHER ONE YOU FUCKIN LUSH! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE BARTENDER CUT YOU OFF LAST NIGHT YOU FUCKING DOUCHE BAG! funny funny funny stuff....funny Douche bag... it's like the word of the week. It's popping up everywhere.
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chelsey |
Sep 22 2006, 01:21 PM
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*.~
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Joined: 16-August 05
Member No.: 9,927
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bondiguy |
Sep 22 2006, 06:03 PM
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I don't suffer FOOLS
Group: Members
Posts: 16,794
Joined: 2-May 05
From: Sydney, New South Wales
Member No.: 7,542
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QUOTE(Bobaloo @ Sep 22 2006, 10:51 AM) that's the same price closeup's mother charges for a blow job. by the way, you're better off buying bondi's DVD. BAM! QUOTE(closeup @ Sep 22 2006, 01:20 PM) Sounds like you're quite the expert on five dollar blowjobs. Your only problem is you GIVE them for five dollars, but then pay ten to RECEIVE one. If you followed Gnappy's business plan of buy low/sell high, you'll last a lot longer and your kness won't be so sore at the end of the day. Nice Burn back
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Bondi Approved I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.
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