Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+ Because I Am Man...., it's sad, but it's true. :P

[Vlad]

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the blazes could he know where we're going anyway?

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or sports. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you cried at the end of it, I didn't

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the new millennium, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, the shopping and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.

[diane26]

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."    We will then drink beer

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the blazes could he know where we're going anyway?

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or sports. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you cried at the end of it, I didn't

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the new millennium, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, the shopping and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.

[bondiguy]

Is that some sort of forward type email?

[Gnappster]

Is that some sort of forward type email?

I don't know, but I think it read my mind!

[natalie]

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."    We will then drink beer

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the blazes could he know where we're going anyway?

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or sports. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you cried at the end of it, I didn't

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the new millennium, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, the shopping and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.

So what does it mean if my man's not like that?

[Gnappster]

So what does it mean if my man's not like that?

then he's clearly extremely gay

[natalie]

then he's clearly extremely gay 

I was hoping you would come up with something a little less predictable.

[Gnappster]

I was hoping you would come up with something a little less predictable.

you should know me better than that by now
I am one lined of canned "humour" after another.

That is all.

[johnny wadd]

.....I Pee and leave the toilet seat up. (sorry I dont have a list)

[natalie]

you should know me better than that by now
I am one lined of canned "humour" after another.

That is all. 

And most of it's based on the simpsons, but that's o.k. it makes me laugh...or at least smile.

[natalie]

.....I Pee and leave the toilet seat up.   (sorry I dont have a list)

I don't get why that's such a huge thing for girls. Who the hell decided that doing that was a sign of disrespect? As long as you aren't peeing all over the place what's the biggie? I never get mad at my man when he does it.

[johnny wadd]

I don't get why that's such a huge thing for girls. Who the hell decided that doing that was a sign of disrespect? As long as you aren't peeing all over the place what's the biggie? I never get mad at my man when he does it.

its the only thing I could think of the went with" Because I Am Man...." I don't think its a big deal either as long as I am not a pig and pee all over the floor.To me thats just nasty.I can't imagine a girl peeing on the floor,I guess it would be interesting to see but that would be something I am sure doesnt happen often.

[Vlad]

Is that some sort of forward type email?

Nope. my email service has a whitelist feature. Stupid things like email forwards will never see my inbox.

It was just something i came across online.

[Avvilimento]

I found a similar one of these things a while ago... made me laugh, so I saved it...



Good To Be A Man


Movie nudity is virtually always female.

Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.

When clicking through TV channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

You can be President.

Flowers fix everything.

You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

The world is your urinal.

One mood, all the time.

You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

Same work... more pay.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

The remote is yours and yours alone.

You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

Bachelor parties beat the shit over bridal showers.

Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

You think the idea of punting a small cat is funny.

Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: 'So... notice anything different?'

All your orgasms are real.



(There's some kinda double-ups there, and some are pretty low brow, but good for a chuckle)

-Jak

[Gnappster]

I don't get why that's such a huge thing for girls. Who the hell decided that doing that was a sign of disrespect? As long as you aren't peeing all over the place what's the biggie? I never get mad at my man when he does it.

you don't get mad at your man when he pees all over the place? cool!

[natalie]

you don't get mad at your man when he pees all over the place? cool!

hahahahahaha, I meant when he leaves the seat up. But I do understand that it's hard for him to do with the big erections I give him.

[summoner]

I was just thinking about this toilet-thing....Why women always complain that the seat is up when men don´t say anything when the seat is down?

[natalie]

I was just thinking about this toilet-thing....Why women always complain that the seat is up when men don´t say anything when the seat is down?

[Gnappster]

I was just thinking about this toilet-thing....Why women always complain that the seat is up when men don´t say anything when the seat is down?

I never get shit for leaving the seat up.


I just pee all over the seat

[bondiguy]

wanted 2 post some stupid shit i found online because its the thing to do apparently?

Attached thumbnail(s)

[Gnappster]

wanted 2 post some stupid shit i found online because its the thing to do apparently?

bondi, that's retarded!

but I still laughed at it.

[bondiguy]

bondi, that's retarded!

but I still laughed at it.

As you'd know the net is full of reatrded yet funny things and people

Finding them and bringing them here is the new black

[sweetnsexy]

As you'd know the net is full of reatrded yet funny things and people

Finding them and bringing them here is the new black

So.....where do I find a picture of you...?

[diane26]

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

That had me rolling.



I get mad about the toiet seat when there is piss all over it and not because I will carelessly sit on it but because it is DISGUSTING and leaving the seat up further rubs it in my face. But I solved the problem I have 3 bathrooms and one is for the boys and the boys alone.

I have yet to figure out how someone is getting piss back behind the toilet in the corner. I had to remove the trashcan from there cause it always had pee on it.

I have a house of 4 boys and my bathroom smells of such so I have my own bathroom they CAN NOT use and once a week I put on the rubber suit and hose down there bathroom with bleach.

[bondiguy]

So.....where do I find a picture of you...? 

Why do u want a picture when u can have the real thing?