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Posted by: morton2003 Sep 27 2006, 12:42 PM

my mate came home from work early and heard his gf cuming thought she was cheating on him so goes in the room and finds her bouncing allover a dildo rubbing her clit. phones me and tells me i was like whats your problem hes like she's a slut i aint having that i was like well atleast she aint fucking some one esle .ffs is he gay i am worred id love to come home and find my gf at it

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 27 2006, 01:05 PM

Is he gay?
not sure...how long does it take him to cum when you give him a blowjob?


seriously, though, is HE not allowed to masturbate as well? this dude needs to loosen up and realize he's got a good thing going. he gets home and his woman is already warmed up for him.

Posted by: wild n crazy Sep 27 2006, 03:31 PM

shit man.. he should just dive right in, i mean the pussy is already wet and you know she wants it. that is WAY better than finding her with someone else. he should just get ready to blow that load hahah

Posted by: Bobaloo Sep 27 2006, 04:06 PM

He was probably pissed off the she used his dildo without asking first.

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 27 2006, 04:08 PM

HEY-OH!

Posted by: evade20 Sep 28 2006, 01:19 AM

Unless, of course, he finds her with another woman...then he should either get out the camera or, as you say, "just dive right in."

Posted by: bondiguy Sep 28 2006, 04:04 AM

I arrive home from work everyday PRAYING that I find my girl doing this

Posted by: Bobaloo Sep 28 2006, 10:17 AM

Ditto!

Posted by: boanna Sep 28 2006, 11:59 AM

i did it once right in front of u know who. he fell asleep. or at least acted like he was asleep. another time when he WAS asleep, i used his hand! he didnt wake up that time either.

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 28 2006, 12:23 PM

maybe he has narcolepsy. only possible explanation!

Posted by: boanna Sep 28 2006, 02:30 PM

i think he was mad. who knows. if i had the honor of laying next to someone "takin care of things"...i'd get unmad real fast and do what i could do to be of assistance!

Posted by: HooterLover Sep 28 2006, 03:19 PM

Whats wrong with your mate. If i came home from work and found my girl doing this i would wipe it out and jack off with her

Posted by: evade20 Sep 28 2006, 03:47 PM

Where did you say you lived, Bo? I call the undertaker to haul your S/O away and then come and visit you...

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 28 2006, 04:08 PM

better tell the undertaker to come back for a second visit

Posted by: bondiguy Sep 29 2006, 03:09 AM

fuck yeah



I don't wish to offend but WTF??? Seems u know who may have some serious libido problems. I know I got more than my fair share!

Posted by: COMEDYMAN Sep 29 2006, 09:11 AM

Your mate is a moron and doesn't fucking deserve a girl who does that when hes not around

Posted by: COMEDYMAN Sep 29 2006, 09:14 AM

Just put a pillow over his face when he is sleeping... jesus....

talk about being a fag ... falls asleep when a fine ass like you and reaming herself with a dildo...

Im sorry it would take several blows to the back of the head with a fucking shovel before i would lose conciousness during a nice show like that

Am I gonna have to bring out the clown costume on this dude too.... fuck Im gonna be busy

Posted by: ddd35 Sep 29 2006, 11:21 AM

I like the way you think comedy ....

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 29 2006, 12:07 PM

it takes a big man to admit he has his fair share of libido problems. they make medication for situations such as yours. good luck.

Posted by: Hendo Sep 29 2006, 12:46 PM

Holy Crap your dude haas got to be some sort of gay space alien!! RIGHT I FRON T OF HIM !?!?! You'd have to chop off both of my heads to keep me away .

Posted by: Bobaloo Sep 29 2006, 02:09 PM

yeah. I had to do a doubletake when I read his post too. Bondi's poor finacee. Just can't get enough

Posted by: wild n crazy Sep 29 2006, 02:37 PM

shit even i couldnt resist if bo was sitting there getting herself off... someone that hott should never have to do the work herself!

Posted by: wild n crazy Sep 29 2006, 02:47 PM

ok i just thought of a funny story for this thread. this one day my bf and i were riding in his car and we are having the raunchiest convo... im tellin him how i love to have my mouth wrapped around his big hard dick and he fucks me so good and he saying all kinds of shit bout wanting to fuck me in the ass and eating me out and titty fucking me and stuff (this goes on for at least 5 mins or so) then he looks down and is like SHIT! he had accidentally called his mom and she had been sitting on the phone for like 2 mins!! just listening i guess! at 1st we were like omg but then i just couldnt stop laughing. it could not have been a worse convo to hear. but what can i say? i told him he should use keylock!

Posted by: Bobaloo Sep 29 2006, 02:53 PM

Now that's HI-larious. But why in the hell was his mom listening to all that??? What a sicko

by the way... think you could give me a call next time you decide to talk dirty.

Posted by: wild n crazy Sep 29 2006, 02:55 PM

i know right? why the fuck was she listening!?

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 29 2006, 03:09 PM

next time you have a convo like that, could you accidentally call me?

Posted by: Bobaloo Sep 29 2006, 03:30 PM

No problemo!


Oh, you probably meant WNC. nevermind!

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 29 2006, 03:53 PM

(I think I've almost bastardized this smilie)

Posted by: Bobaloo Sep 29 2006, 04:09 PM

NO problem there either. I'll just look for another one that's not used often that should be. Give me a minute.

Posted by: Bobaloo Sep 29 2006, 04:15 PM

here's some. I say we go with for now.

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 29 2006, 04:17 PM

was in heavy rotation when naraz frequented this place

Posted by: Bobaloo Sep 29 2006, 04:23 PM

haha. Naraz.. that is such a

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 29 2006, 04:24 PM

Posted by: HardDick69 Sep 29 2006, 06:36 PM

lmao that is so hilarious. When PD and I were in HS, we would write these really erotic letters back and forth in art class b/c our teacher had a strict no talk policy, so I would take the notes and put them in my backpack and think nothing of it. Well one night i was doing some trig HW and i pulled out my calculator and evidently one of those notes came flying out too and i didnt notice. So the next dayi get home from school and my mom is like "is this yours?" and hands me the note. I'm thinkin "holy shit im so dead" and she apparantly didn't read the ENTIRE thing, b/c it started off semi bad, like blowjobs and stuff and ended up REALLY bad haha, so she says "You really shouldn't discuss things like this at school, what if the teacher found it and read it? Youd' be in big trouble" and i'm like "Uhh uhh yes, ok i gotta go bye" lol.

I still like to mess with PD every now and then, i'll be like "haha you know my mom knew you were sucking my cock when we were really young" and she's liek "OMG SHUT UP!" lmao, good times.

Posted by: stevieboy Sep 29 2006, 06:44 PM

Good lord Bo...that is sad indeed. Forget him....I offer you my hands...my tongue..my dick...my feet...anything I can think to put to good use. Do with them as you will

Posted by: stevieboy Sep 29 2006, 06:49 PM

True story...back in my "highschool days", I had this girl who was a good friend that I was super attracted to, but she was involved with someone else. Heck, even her parents adored me and constantly told me "you 2 should be together". Well one night, she was griping about how he was not taking care of her needs and I jokingly said something along the lines of "bet I could rock your world with my tongue alone". Must've struck a chord, because she said "do it now" and her pants came off. I was right in the middle of going at it when her dad walked in. I about died. He took one look...realized it was me and said...its about damn time...if it was that worthless idiot, I'd be furious...but since its you....you've got my blessing to do whatever you want with her...just don't get her knocked up and he left the room.

Turned out to be a good day for me cause she did end up letting me screw her too

Posted by: mountaineers Sep 29 2006, 07:18 PM

Doing my girl from behind, after a big session. Stepped on my phone, call me Ex. "hello, hello" she said.... oh boy, did I have to hang on!

Posted by: mountaineers Sep 29 2006, 07:19 PM

Posted by: bondiguy Sep 29 2006, 07:58 PM

Yeah I haven't seen that in 18 months

Posted by: Gnappster Sep 30 2006, 12:01 AM

either yer lying or that dad falls into the .00001% of dads who wouldn't boot you out the door.



did I mention how much I missed your pics?

Posted by: wild n crazy Sep 30 2006, 03:18 AM

that is freakin hilarious!

Posted by: Bobaloo Sep 30 2006, 10:23 AM

Funny, but hard to believe. if it really happened, then good for you. Now had you said, "hey, get your wife in here, I'll do her too." I'd totally believe you.

Posted by: ddd35 Sep 30 2006, 12:11 PM

some dads are just that way , they know its going to happen , they just dont know when , my father inlaw caught us doing it in the bathroom on the washing machine , he was pissed but didnt say a whole lot other then , (youd better marry her ) which I did LOL

Posted by: HardDick69 Sep 30 2006, 12:26 PM

haha damn, I dunno what i'd do if PD's dad caught us in the act. I'd hope he'd be as understanding as your father in law.

Posted by: wild n crazy Sep 30 2006, 01:17 PM

im sure my dad would hand out some ass whoopin's but thats how it is in texas..

Posted by: HardDick69 Sep 30 2006, 01:44 PM

haha yeah. "you fucked my daughter?" then Walker Texas Ranger shows up and whips your ass.

Posted by: summoner Sep 30 2006, 01:45 PM

I don´t know what my dad or my dad-in-law would do if they caught us...We are married and yes we have a son but I think it´s better to keep our sexlive to ourselves but show parts of it here

We have been having sex while my dad was reading a morning paper in the kitchen and my old room is just next to it

Posted by: Hendo Sep 30 2006, 02:15 PM

Haven't been caught, yet but I did catch someone else though. A friend of mine used to like to take naked pictures, no I don't have any (sorry), and would go to isolated places to do it. One time when she thought no one was around she started taking pics beside the pool at our apartment complex because it was closed for some kind of construction. It was early and I guess she was feeling a little randy, and something else , but I could see her from the mailboxes right across the driveway because she didn't slose the gate well enough and it had blown open. Being a friend, and a dumbass , I snuck over, watched a little bit , quietly closed the gate and left. Never told her about it though because she's one of those "quiet types" who you'd never expect to be a total freak!

Posted by: wild n crazy Sep 30 2006, 03:57 PM

why did you not offer to be the photographer????? sounds like she could have used a lil help!

Posted by: Hendo Sep 30 2006, 07:20 PM

Yeah I know I know . But she was a friend......

Posted by: ddd35 Oct 1 2006, 10:55 AM

I was at a wedding reception last night , a couple college kids got married well anyway , at the table right next to me was a couple , they are probably 20-21 or so as the night progressed and the beer flowed they got more and more playful till finnally I looked over and he was fingering her right there at the table with no less then 150 people still there , I mean if I had'nt been looking I wouldnt have seen but she was enjoying for sure , as was he ...Oh to be young again ....

Posted by: foghorn Oct 1 2006, 01:14 PM

"your days of fingerbanging old maryjane rottencrotch through her purty pink panties are over" r. lee ermey in full metal jacket

Posted by: bondiguy Oct 3 2006, 04:47 AM

I gotta say he has been reading penthouse forum too much

Posted by: ddd35 Oct 8 2006, 04:41 PM

Oh yes I know , she found Vagisil now so its not rotton anymore !!!!!!

Posted by: Gnappster Oct 10 2006, 12:43 PM

great line from a great movie

Posted by: ddd35 Oct 11 2006, 01:56 PM

once the jar head shot himself and his col. the movie went down hill ...

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 11 2006, 01:57 PM

I agree with ya on that one!

Posted by: bondiguy Oct 12 2006, 04:06 AM

Way to spoil the movie jerk!

and

Who would've thought Darth Vader was Luke's Father

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 12 2006, 09:47 AM

He was???

Posted by: Gnappster Oct 12 2006, 12:38 PM

spotted

or that the secret code in the stockholm affair was the same nursery rhyme he told his daughter!

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 12 2006, 01:48 PM

I'm going now and I don't know when you'll see me again!

Posted by: boanna Oct 12 2006, 01:50 PM

thats not the bewildering part of his story to me....its the "oh to be young again" crap! to hell with that! if that event happened to me 20 years ago i would have gotten all embarressed, or whispered in his ear... "get a lawyer". nowdays i'd be so overjoyed if a man did that to me! why in less than 30 seconds we'd have a full blown wedding orgy extravaganza goin on....all thanks to me sheddin some clothes on top of the table!

Posted by: stevieboy Oct 12 2006, 05:21 PM

Story IS TRUE!

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 12 2006, 06:30 PM

this video was emailed to me by a friend who fowards funny emails. took me a while, but I found a shitty quality version on youtube. Here's the link. Talk about being caught. Totally F-ing hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4Z0cHnNo6c

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 12 2006, 06:39 PM

and in a related link I found http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQUc8nIpN0g&NR.

They just keep making these girls younger and younger. Now if there were only a way to convince them to remove their larynges, they'd be all good. If anyone knows who they are, see what you can do to get them to post at RMM.

Posted by: Gnappster Oct 12 2006, 07:07 PM

he's really going to town.
this has got to fit into the category of things NOT to get caught doing, right beside measuring your own dick.



i don't know what a larynge is but i bet they'd look good without it!
They may think they're just acting stupid but for dirty old men like me, I watch it for a completely different reason they must have been smoking pencil shavings

oh and that girl in the pink is well put together.

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 12 2006, 07:21 PM

when I first saw the video, I was like, damn, that broad has some tig ol' bitties, but then I realized it was a doll. still funny as phuck. and the accents make it even funnier.


Never really done that. no need to make myself cry. Er, I mean, um, I don't have a ruler large enough. yeah, that's what I meant


Larynges is plural for larynx


I watch it because I'm a fan of the arts, especially dancing. And by "the arts" I mean women, and by "dancing" I mean watching big boobs bounce.


and how

Posted by: bondiguy Oct 13 2006, 03:20 AM

Beautiful cross episode reference



Yeah



I watched the entire 2:42 for that very reason!

Posted by: bondiguy Oct 13 2006, 03:21 AM

Watched the original busted movie Bob linked.... how fucking funny

Posted by: Gnappster Oct 13 2006, 12:10 PM

well outside the medical profession, that makes 2 people who now know that

can't wait to bring up that bit o trivia when I go out for beers.

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 13 2006, 12:18 PM

that reminds me of an episode of taxi where they're at someone's house playing trivial persuit. every time Jim's turn comes up he keeps giving the same answer. His teammates keep getting annoyed and ask him why he keeps answering that way... he says, I've played this game before, and I know one of the answers is (whatever the hell he keeps saying). They insist that he not give that answer anymore. Sure enough, Alan Alda reads the next question where the answer he's been giving would be the correct answer, but he answers something different because he's been told to. Pretty predictable, but it was pretty funny back in the 80s. And to think, that goofball came up with the flux capacitor

Posted by: Gnappster Oct 13 2006, 12:41 PM

I remember watching taxi after school cuz there was nothing else on. Didn't really get most of the jokes on the show, but enjoyed watching Danny DeVito getting chased into his cage.

Posted by: evade20 Oct 13 2006, 02:07 PM

Damn, I sold all my stock in Flux Capacitors to invest in YouTube, but Google beat me to it.

Posted by: closeup Oct 13 2006, 02:52 PM

Well, there's 2:42 of my life I'll never get back. With videos like that, I can see why Google spent 1.65 billion for Youtube.

Posted by: Gnappster Oct 13 2006, 03:36 PM

They're missing the boat. This place is where the good videos are. http://www.bulletinboardforum.com/4578-Punjabi_midget_gets_down_on_the_floor.html

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 13 2006, 04:10 PM

haha. I just saw that video either this morning or last night. I don't remember why. Oh, yes, I do. It was linked from someone's myspace account.

Posted by: Gnappster Oct 13 2006, 04:37 PM

trust bollywood to make put an acid trip to film

Posted by: bondiguy Oct 13 2006, 05:43 PM

I'll be interested to see how you bring that subject up!

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 13 2006, 05:44 PM

I was wondering that myself.

Posted by: bondiguy Oct 13 2006, 05:46 PM

Gnappster: Hey Guys, have a Kokanee
Mates: Thanks dude
Mates: Hey look at that group of hot young 18yr olds
Gnappster: I would like to remove their laryng

Posted by: Gnappster Oct 13 2006, 05:52 PM

oooh lemme write that down!

Posted by: Bobaloo Oct 13 2006, 06:02 PM

How uncanny that Gnappy actually has a friend named Mates. whooda thunkit?

Posted by: bondiguy Oct 13 2006, 06:03 PM

Mates parents are hippies

Posted by: Lynette Jan 24 2007, 01:59 PM

Got caught the other night in the passanger seat of a guy's car, completely naked by a parking lot security rent a cop in a mall parking lot. He told the guy I was with that he noticed that the car had been parked for a while and wanted to see if anyone needed any help. (He had no ida what was going on in the car though.) I just sat there running my habd over my legs and stomach. After two or three minutes, it was obvious that the security guy was just making small talk with the guy I was with in order to linger and enjoy the view. I finally looked over toward the drivers-side window (where he was) and said " listen, I'm so horney that I'm about to explode. Do you think it would be OK if we finish up here? Or, would you prefer to just stand there, watch me masterbate, and piss off my boyfriend cause after I'm done he may not get the blowjob I'm sure he wants? The guy looked embarrassed and said " just don't stay too long", turned and walk back in the direction he came from. I leaned back dainstthe passanger door, spread my legs, and watched as the guy I was with finger my stuff. I told him that I really like being licked, he did it to me, I cam SUPER hard, then sucked his dick as good as knew how, he came all over the place, getting in my hair, his car seat, the console. That's about the way it went. Getting caught can be a very good thing sometimes.

Posted by: ddd35 Jan 24 2007, 02:04 PM

sounds good , but the cop was a idiot he should have abused his power and said (Blow me or else )

Posted by: Bobaloo Jan 24 2007, 03:32 PM

ah, the good ol' breathylizer trick

Posted by: ddd35 Jan 24 2007, 03:44 PM

you bet

Posted by: Lynette Jan 24 2007, 10:06 PM

But, he wasn't a real cop. Just some jerk-off security guard.

Posted by: ddd35 Jan 25 2007, 10:19 AM

they still have the power of the fake badge and the radio ...

Posted by: evade20 Jan 26 2007, 07:56 PM

Only if you're wide open and straight forward about it!

Posted by: Fitch Feb 18 2007, 07:59 PM

Sounds like he's just jealous of the dildo, maybe it's bigger than him.