[ Outline ] · Standard · Linear+ Catastrophe And Marriage....a Hypothetical Questio, completely non boob related

[girlie_girl]

I have had this discussion with a select few of my friends, and am always surprised by the answers I am given. Maybe it is because I am the hopeless romantic type, and believe there is a storybook romance out there for me someplace. Anyways, this is not a personals add, so I will continue.

Ok, lets set the stage. You are newly married, and madly in love. Things are going wonderfly, and you are planning on conceiving a child within the next year with any luck. Tragically, your mate is in a horrible accident, and as a result is paralyzed from the neck down. Do you stay together?

My answer to this question is yes. The love you have is still there. It is still the same person. However, the guy I was talking to this about said no. He said that he would not LET me stay with him because he would want a better life for me. He also said that if it were the other way around and I was the injured one, he would leave me.

Like I said, maybe it is because I am the hopeless romantic type, but when you get married the vows still say "for better or for worse". I took them seriously the first time (too bad he didn't) and I will take them just as seriously should "I do" ever come out of my mouth again.

What are your views on this?

[Avvilimento]

This is one of those situations you (well, I at least) can't accurately predict. That said, here's a few thoughts on the matter....

If I was the one in the accident, I would leave it to my partner to choose. If she wanted to stay, I wouldn't force her not to. But if she wanted to go, I'd let her. Something like that isn't to be decided by the cripple - some people just don't want (and can't handle) the responsibility of caring for someone quite so much, and to force it upon them would destroy their life, for lack of a better term.

If I was the carer, though, I would stand by her without a second thought. Naturally, it would mean a huge adjustment to my life, and a lot extra will to cope with not only the new situation, but also my existing ailments. But, sometimes there are just sacrifices that have to be made for the one you care about, and if that means the loss of some of my freedom, than so be it.

In the end, though, it has to be a case-by-case thing. I wouldn't want to predetermine my reaction to this kind of thing, especially given the massive number of variables involved.

-Jon