[ Outline ] · Standard · Linear+ Scared...to Be Blunt

[Narazbad]

i dont know if this is the right place to put this but i just...its after 5 in the morning, im on an hour of sleep....and i cant do anything but think about this and torture myself with it....so i have to do something to get if off my chest.
i work at a pizza place, which im sure many of you know if youve ever read my posts and everything. well....last night....around 6 30...we got held up. a guy walked in, who was about half my size, pointed a gun at everyone and told them to get on the ground.....then he had our manager open the drawer and pull all the money for him. he walked out with around 450 bucks. my buddy walked in on the middle of it. but im beathing the FUCK out of myself for not doing anything. if i had been where one of the girls was, i could have grabbed a weapon and hit him with it in the head...most likely knocking him out. or if i had been outside where my buddy was, i could have waited for him to leave and attacked him. if i had been where my manager was i could have gotten him when he had me get up to get the money. as it is, he should have already come after me because i had over 200 dollars in my back pockets from delivery money and my wallet. i feel that i should have done something to stop him..i should have charged him or something...chased him when he left.....but i dont know what anymore...i just cant stop playing the whole thing in my head over and over again. i dont know if i should even think about it...i know everyone will tell me i did the right thing by complying to everything he said....but i will never get it out of my head that i should have done something. i feel like a pussy. i was one of the first to get to the ground because i was one of the first to actually realize what was going on...the first thing that went thru my head was "do as he says" but as soon as he left i was thinking why didnt you stop him....you could have stopped him.....im sorry to be bothering you with this drivle and everything..just...i really need to get some advice and everything from my old friends......and i just have to get this out...i cant even sleep rightnow....and i have to be at work again....at 11..............................

[7mary3]

Okay, here is my two cents worth (from the cop). Everyone has been telling you, you did the right thing. They are 100 per cent correct. Closeup probably described it best so far. No life is worth money...you can always get more money...and that is yet another reason we have insurance. You can't collect if you died trying to be a super hero.

When we/cops are off duty we are trained to be the very best witness we can be. Even though I am always packing my 45 cal. Sig-Sauer P220 with handcuffs and an extra magazine when I am off duty...I lack all of the protection my uniform and duty equipment provide. We try to get involved when the tables have turned to our advantage. Like... my position affords me cover from bullets, I have time to draw my weapon, innocents are clear of harm, you know where all the bad guys are... Do you get the point? There are tons of variable that have to be evaluated before engaging someone intent on violence.

And the most important goal of cops...and it is those people who interfere with that goal that cause some of the violent reactions you see from cops (which the news media never explain). You should make this your personal number 1 goal as well.

** I am going home to my family at the end of my shift. **

Try to image what could have happen if you had tried to disarm that SOB in the wrong direction. You could have a bunch of grieving people instead of just scared people.