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i dont know if this is the right place to put this but i just...its after 5 in the morning, im on an hour of sleep....and i cant do anything but think about this and torture myself with it....so i have to do something to get if off my chest.
i work at a pizza place, which im sure many of you know if youve ever read my posts and everything. well....last night....around 6 30...we got held up. a guy walked in, who was about half my size, pointed a gun at everyone and told them to get on the ground.....then he had our manager open the drawer and pull all the money for him. he walked out with around 450 bucks. my buddy walked in on the middle of it. but im beathing the FUCK out of myself for not doing anything. if i had been where one of the girls was, i could have grabbed a weapon and hit him with it in the head...most likely knocking him out. or if i had been outside where my buddy was, i could have waited for him to leave and attacked him. if i had been where my manager was i could have gotten him when he had me get up to get the money. as it is, he should have already come after me because i had over 200 dollars in my back pockets from delivery money and my wallet. i feel that i should have done something to stop him..i should have charged him or something...chased him when he left.....but i dont know what anymore...i just cant stop playing the whole thing in my head over and over again. i dont know if i should even think about it...i know everyone will tell me i did the right thing by complying to everything he said....but i will never get it out of my head that i should have done something. i feel like a pussy. i was one of the first to get to the ground because i was one of the first to actually realize what was going on...the first thing that went thru my head was "do as he says" but as soon as he left i was thinking why didnt you stop him....you could have stopped him.....im sorry to be bothering you with this drivle and everything..just...i really need to get some advice and everything from my old friends......and i just have to get this out...i cant even sleep rightnow....and i have to be at work again....at 11..............................

Hey Naz, let me give you a little perspective. When I was in the Marine Corps, one of my main duties was I had to guard the payroll. The Captain and I would walk to the bank on base. It was probably a half mile away. I'd be carrying a Colt .45, with the clip in, along with a satchel to carry the cash in. We'd do this two or three times a week, as we needed cash. The base I was stationed at had a battallion that was always on alert; this means that the marines there kept there rifles with them, not locked in an amorory like most units. In other words, three times a week I'd be carrying 50-60,000 cash thru a route where 2500 Marines had access to their M16s. One on of the first trips, the captain and I went over what we'd do if we were ambushed or held-up. We both came to the same conclusion, neither one of us was going to take a round to the head to save the goverment 60,000 dollars. Or as the captain put it; " If they want the money, not only will I give it to them, I'd help load it into the car, and wave good-bye as they left" We both realized that to the goverment, money is only paper, if they want more all they need to do is run the presses a little longer. The same is true with the company you work for, insurance will cover any loss. For a big insurance company, $450 is less than nothing. In Japan, we'd pick up over $250,000 cash.One million Japanese lived on this island where the average person made maybe $1000 a year. Two Marines would go with an officer to the bank on the next base over in a van for about 20 miles. We were not only armed, we had a round in the chamber, slide back, with the safety on. We were told the same thing, give up the cash, do what they say. If that's the standard protocol for two armed Marines, I don't think more can be expected from an unarmed guy working at a pizza joint. I've had plenty of weapons training, hand to hand combat training, etc.,and I'd have done exactly what you did. And slept like a baby knowing I did the right thing. As far as second-guessing your actions, the fact that nobody got hurt should be 99.99 per cent of your thinking.