[ Outline ] · Standard · Linear+ Breast Jokes, ....because everyone needs to laugh.

[day4ferris]

Top 10 Signs Your "Baby" Is Too Old For Breastfeeding

10. He can open your blouse by himself.
9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.
8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.
7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.
6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.
5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine.
4. After each feeding, he has a smoke.
3. He frequently invites his friends over for dinner.
2. You feel an uncontrollable urge to listen to "Dueling Banjos."
1. Beard abrasions on areola.

[day4ferris]

Great news for girl watchers: Ogling women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.
"Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout," declared gerontologist Dr. Franz Epping.
Dr. Epping and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so.
The study revealed that after five years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease.
"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Epping. "There's no question: Gazing at large breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half."
Dr. Epping suggested that men over the age of 40 spend at least 10 minutes a day looking at breasts sized "D-cup" or greater. "We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."
Dr. Epping says he would advise U.S. males to watch "jiggle" shows on TV, rent low-budget women-in-prison movies and peruse men's magazines such as Playboy as often as possible.
The expert also listed several bosomy celebs whose headlights were most likely to yield a beneficial health effect. These amply endowed "angels of mercy" include Dolly Parton, Heather Locklear, Anna Nicole Smith and Demi Moore.

[closeup]

Great news for girl watchers: Ogling women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.
"Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout," declared gerontologist Dr. Franz Epping.
Dr. Epping and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so.
The study revealed that after five years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease.
"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Epping. "There's no question: Gazing at large breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half."
Dr. Epping suggested that men over the age of 40 spend at least 10 minutes a day looking at breasts sized "D-cup" or greater. "We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."
Dr. Epping says he would advise U.S. males to watch "jiggle" shows on TV, rent low-budget women-in-prison movies and peruse men's magazines such as Playboy as often as possible.
The expert also listed several bosomy celebs whose headlights were most likely to yield a beneficial health effect. These amply endowed "angels of mercy" include Dolly Parton, Heather Locklear, Anna Nicole Smith and Demi Moore.

Was this article before or after the one about all the benifits of swallowing sperm. Dr Epping says that if spread liberally over a woman's breasts, they will increase by one whole cup size. More research is need to prove this theory, however.