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[Opiatepoet]

1jkl;j

[Opiatepoet]

Have had an interesting expirience lately and thought of questions I wanted to ask the boards.

I just lost a good freind of 5 years not long ago, not to death or anything, but due to the feelings involved in our freindship. Without a long story the basics of it are she had feelings for me, and I must admit I had some for her too, but it became too hard for her to stay friends knowing her and I would never be together, or that it was very unlikely.

Not three days after I began chatting with a nice girl on a game I play online, and we became fast friends, the other night however she revealed to me she has been feeling guilty, and has feelings for me despite her being in a relationship, and I being in one as well. Now I get the impression that its not me in this situation,that it could have been any guy who seemed nice, I feel she might be feeling neglected by her bf, and looking for attention and intimacy elsewhere, and it seems to be interest in an allmost purely sexual nature, but it struck me how quickly the same situation seemed to have developed so closely after the last ended, with my previous freind. In addittion, this new friend talks constantly about how she should avoid certain subjects so as not to tease herself when talking to me, subjects of a sexual nature, but then not 5 minutes later makes some very graphic and teasing comments to me.

My questions are this, do you think its possible for men and women to be friends without attraction and sexual tension getting in the way? And where is the boundary from flirting and play to overt sexual advances, and how does one keep from crossing it without stopping that kind of conversation all together? I enjoy having freinds, and am a bit on the flirty side myself, aaaand dont see an issue with talking, but I dont want to hurt anyone by giving them the impression I am interested in more than that, hearing what my last friend had to go through and making her cry on numerous occasions, I never want to hurt someone that way again if I can avoid it.

Id be curious to know everyones thoughts.

[ddd35]

Have had an interesting expirience lately and thought of questions I wanted to ask the boards.

I just lost a good freind of 5 years not long ago, not to death or anything, but due to the feelings involved in our freindship. Without a long story the basics of it are she had feelings for me, and I must admit I had some for her too, but it became too hard for her to stay friends knowing her and I would never be together, or that it was very unlikely.

Not three days after I began chatting with a nice girl on a game I play online, and we became fast friends, the other night however she revealed to me she has been feeling guilty, and has feelings for me despite her being in a relationship, and I being in one as well. Now I get the impression that its not me in this situation,that it could have been any guy who seemed nice, I feel she might be feeling neglected by her bf, and looking for attention and intimacy elsewhere, and it seems to be interest in an allmost purely sexual nature, but it struck me how quickly the same situation seemed to have developed so closely after the last ended, with my previous freind. In addittion, this new friend talks constantly about how she should avoid certain subjects so as not to tease herself when talking to me, subjects of a sexual nature, but then not 5 minutes later makes some very graphic and teasing comments to me.

My questions are this, do you think its possible for men and women to be friends without attraction and sexual tension getting in the way? And where is the boundary from flirting and play to overt sexual advances, and how does one keep from crossing it without stopping that kind of conversation all together? I enjoy having freinds, and am a bit on the flirty side myself, aaaand dont see an issue with talking, but I dont want to hurt anyone by giving them the impression I am interested in more than that, hearing what my last friend had to go through and making her cry on numerous occasions, I never want to hurt someone that way again if I can avoid it.

Id be curious to know everyones thoughts.

My experience has been :

I have several female friends and always have had , some are just that friends that I visit with ocassinally and maybe even catch a meal with them and there spouse and my wife . Some are strictly just my friend and they visit with only me and not my wife , I have one at the moment that is younger then me and like you said i feel she is looking for more then friendship , however she is in a relationship we text during the day off and on nothing serious just how the day is going Etc . Evry once in a long while she will bring sex up , mainly what her and her man like to do , or she will mention her breasts , she is very well endowed . On a couple occasions she has sent me pictures of her breasts to admire , when I comment on them she simply says "Thanks "and it drops . She works as a waitress at a local eatery and normally when she sends the boob pics is when she is going to be working and her thinking is I will tip her more havign seen her breasts . Recently i told her the tips will be small becuase i feel she is a cock tease and besides im not looking for anymore then a look as i do at this site . Before her there was a gal that I hired to do my book work for the farm , she and i became very close firends as did she and my wife , matter of fact my wife was the maid of honor at her wedding , we were just very close friends with no benefits and trust me with her looks it was hard for me not to want more . But to answer your question I do feel it is possible to have friends of the opposite sex and remain only friends , you just have to at some point clarify where and how you stand on certain things . There is no clear cut answer becuase everybody is different but in my 45 yrs i have been able to have many female friends without losing them becuase of sexual feelings .