[ Outline ] · Standard · Linear+ Breast Jokes, ....because everyone needs to laugh.

[day4ferris]

Top 10 Signs Your "Baby" Is Too Old For Breastfeeding

10. He can open your blouse by himself.
9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.
8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.
7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.
6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.
5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine.
4. After each feeding, he has a smoke.
3. He frequently invites his friends over for dinner.
2. You feel an uncontrollable urge to listen to "Dueling Banjos."
1. Beard abrasions on areola.

[Narazbad]

So one day a guy is walking down the street and he spots this girl. Now this isnt any ordinary female, this is a prime specimen. beautiful, 5'9" with 4 foot long legs it seems. beautiful, perfectly formed face, great tight ass, long smooth legs, tight firm stomach, and the best boobs the guy has ever seen in his life. Right then and there he makes up his mind. "I have got to get those tits!"

So the guy follows the girl for a few moments and suddenly taps her on the shoulder, making her jump into the air a few inches and turn around, ready to slap someone. "Excuse me miss...im sorry for this interruption but i must say..you have the absolute BEST breasts ive ever seen in my life! i must bite them...may i please?"

The girl, of course, freaks out and is about ready to deck the guy, but keeps herself under control. "NO! ABSOLUTLEY NOT! Why on EARTH would i let you bite my breasts?"
"Well, i have this thing. Every time i see a good pair of breasts, i have to bite them. i am willing to pay you 10 dollars for it."
"no! absolutley not!" the chick runs away down the corner trying to get away from him.
The guy follows her and catches up to her yelling as he runs down the street "100 dollars!" "NO!"
she rounds a corner and he bursts into speed and catches up with her, cutting her off. "please, il give you 1,000 dollars. im begging ma'am"
"no!" she leaves again and runs into an alley, trying to avoid him.
Unfortunatley, it seems to be a dead end. He corners her and says "Il give you $10,000 to do it. im begging you ma'am, please!!"
the lady sits there and contemplates. its her body, and she would feel like a whore for doing it, but she could really use the money. Finally, after several long moments of contemplation, she decides to let the guy do it. she takes him farther back into the alleyway and unbuttons her blouse, revealing the most beautiful set of breasts known on gods green earth. the mans jaw drops to the floor and he immediatley starts squeezing, licking, sucking, pulling, rubbing, kissing, and groping her. after several minutes of the man doing everything BUT biting her chest, the woman starts to get agrivated.
"Are you going to bite my breasts or not!?"
"HELL NO! its too expensive!"