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Posted by: nikkibird Jan 6 2006, 01:25 AM

This email was forwarded to me, I have no idea who these people are. A picture of the girl in question was included but I'm not going to show it. I feel sorry for this guy.

Don’t let a night like Friday turn into something like this. Read her email first and then the response.



Brad



It’s the girl on the left









Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.

It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something.
The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you.

It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can Say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it. I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time.

Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.

I am so sorry.
Elizabeth

------------------------------------

RESPONSE:

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new
haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,

Brad

Posted by: jrock8 Jan 6 2006, 04:07 AM

LOL... that's awesome... not the whole her cheating on him part... but you have to give him some credit for the creativity of his response

Posted by: paybarraman Jan 6 2006, 08:12 AM

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Nikki ya gotta show the pic of this chick so Puppet can photoshop "OWNED" across it!!!!!

Posted by: closeup Jan 6 2006, 08:43 AM

As much as the guy tries to make it sound like he's not pissed, he is REALLY pissed. I'd say there's about a one in five chance this is real and you happened to be one of the hundred people he forwarded it to. Otherwise, it's a good read.

Posted by: juicy_DD Jan 6 2006, 08:50 AM

yea he sounds proper gutted....but we dont know the full facts do we?

Posted by: Gnappster Jan 6 2006, 11:23 AM

I agree with jrock, cudos for the well written reply...OWNED!
and u must post the pic! (I'll photoshop owned across it, even I can handle such a simple task)

Posted by: Narazbad Jan 6 2006, 04:45 PM

*cough cough* dont you guys know SHIT about me??? whats my college degree guys.....DIGITAL GRAPHICS! send me that pic and il pwnage the fuck outta it!

Posted by: jrock8 Jan 6 2006, 04:47 PM

hope you spell-check it first

Posted by: Gnappster Jan 6 2006, 04:54 PM

obviously jrock is not nearly as big of a computer nerd as naraz to know about being pwned. I only know cuz I have friends who are computer nerds...yeah, that's it

Posted by: Narazbad Jan 6 2006, 05:10 PM

jrock doesnt know pwnage.....damn.....there goes my respect for him!

Posted by: jrock8 Jan 6 2006, 05:14 PM

yeah... how dare i get out more...

Posted by: Narazbad Jan 6 2006, 05:16 PM

hey..im hardly home...but i still know it!

(one of the big reasons i was gone for so long. thank god for christmas break)

Posted by: Puppet Jan 6 2006, 07:38 PM

OK come on my gullible ones.. let puppet show you the light.. that SHIT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR YEARSSSSSSSSSS!!!! IM MEAN LIKE 8 OF THEM!

Posted by: Narazbad Jan 9 2006, 09:32 PM

youm mean?

Posted by: Gnappster Jan 10 2006, 11:26 AM

is that another computer slang word?
you've been youmed

Posted by: bondiguy Jan 11 2006, 01:48 AM

ummm... funny email, probbaly not true... would still like to see the pics

Posted by: diane26 Jan 11 2006, 03:35 AM

I only know cause someone pointed out a spelling error on my part and put pwned and I was like did you mean owned dipshit and than it was "broken" down for me.

Posted by: Narazbad Jan 15 2006, 05:02 AM

lol..let the great narazbad instruct you in all things 1337ness

Posted by: jrock8 Jan 16 2006, 02:25 AM

die thread

Posted by: nikkibird Jan 16 2006, 02:38 AM

If you want a thread to die you shouldn't post in it

Posted by: bondiguy Jan 17 2006, 12:28 AM

Interesting theory.... how do you answer that one jr?

Posted by: jrock8 Jan 17 2006, 02:25 AM

Posted by: Narazbad Jan 17 2006, 04:19 AM

sneaky deaky dont quite work for you jrock...