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Because I Am Man...., it's sad, but it's true. :P
Vlad |
Mar 4 2006, 09:51 PM
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B Cup
Group: Members
Posts: 101
Joined: 28-March 05
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Member No.: 5,301
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Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the blazes could he know where we're going anyway?
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or sports. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you cried at the end of it, I didn't
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the new millennium, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, the shopping and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
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diane26 |
Mar 4 2006, 09:58 PM
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Double D's
Group: Members
Posts: 4,026
Joined: 2-January 06
Member No.: 12,556
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QUOTE(Vlad @ Mar 4 2006, 06:51 PM) Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator). Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the blazes could he know where we're going anyway? Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or sports. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you cried at the end of it, I didn't Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the new millennium, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, the shopping and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
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natalie |
Mar 6 2006, 04:13 PM
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D Cup
Group: Members
Posts: 1,812
Joined: 20-February 06
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Member No.: 13,587
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QUOTE(Vlad @ Mar 4 2006, 09:51 PM) Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator). Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the blazes could he know where we're going anyway? Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or sports. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you cried at the end of it, I didn't Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the new millennium, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, the shopping and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. So what does it mean if my man's not like that?
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Vlad |
Mar 6 2006, 08:01 PM
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B Cup
Group: Members
Posts: 101
Joined: 28-March 05
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Member No.: 5,301
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Mar 6 2006, 12:46 AM) Is that some sort of forward type email? Nope. my email service has a whitelist feature. Stupid things like email forwards will never see my inbox. It was just something i came across online.
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Avvilimento |
Mar 7 2006, 04:47 AM
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B Cup
Group: Members
Posts: 250
Joined: 28-March 05
From: Brisbane, Queensland
Member No.: 1,740
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I found a similar one of these things a while ago... made me laugh, so I saved it...
Good To Be A Man
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.
When clicking through TV channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
You can be President.
Flowers fix everything.
You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
The world is your urinal.
One mood, all the time.
You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
Same work... more pay.
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
The remote is yours and yours alone.
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
Bachelor parties beat the shit over bridal showers.
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
You think the idea of punting a small cat is funny.
Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: 'So... notice anything different?'
All your orgasms are real.
(There's some kinda double-ups there, and some are pretty low brow, but good for a chuckle)
-Jak
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bondiguy |
Mar 9 2006, 02:51 AM
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I don't suffer FOOLS
Group: Members
Posts: 16,794
Joined: 2-May 05
From: Sydney, New South Wales
Member No.: 7,542
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QUOTE(Gnappster @ Mar 8 2006, 03:35 PM) bondi, that's retarded! but I still laughed at it. As you'd know the net is full of reatrded yet funny things and people Finding them and bringing them here is the new black
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Bondi Approved I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.
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diane26 |
Mar 9 2006, 09:03 PM
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Double D's
Group: Members
Posts: 4,026
Joined: 2-January 06
Member No.: 12,556
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QUOTE You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness That had me rolling. I get mad about the toiet seat when there is piss all over it and not because I will carelessly sit on it but because it is DISGUSTING and leaving the seat up further rubs it in my face. But I solved the problem I have 3 bathrooms and one is for the boys and the boys alone. I have yet to figure out how someone is getting piss back behind the toilet in the corner. I had to remove the trashcan from there cause it always had pee on it. I have a house of 4 boys and my bathroom smells of such so I have my own bathroom they CAN NOT use and once a week I put on the rubber suit and hose down there bathroom with bleach.
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